Escaping the Rock

Continuing on from my last entry myself and Dutch Nienke arrived into Bangkok having surprisingly had a good rest about 7.30am and ignored the taxi touts as we past Koh San Road and onto Ram Bhuttri and picked out a nice looking place for omelette baguettes. As it was also a hotel we took a look at a cheap 200 baht room and felt it was good/safe enough for a night. I spent time speaking to travel agents about how to get to places on various forms of transport on the infamous backpacker road which was much smaller than I imagined but still manic and a million things happening at once.

She led us to the boat (15 baht) to go south on Chao Phraya River where we went south a few stops, seeing some of the city and the many boats on the water. We got off and walked to the entrance of the Royal Palace but ultimately didn’t go inside as too costly despite me putting long trousers and a shirt! In the heat we walked to Wat Phao to see the 47 metre long reclining Buddha (impressive) then went east away from tourists and apparently into places unknown as the map didn’t correlate with the signs (really not surprised). We had chicken strips and rice then used the internet for a remarkably cheap 15 baht and hour as the sky was darkening quite quickly. After seeing the Democracy Monument we drank some large Chang’s near the hotel people watching, relaxed and ended up on Koh San Road drinking buckets till 3am.

Although missing my alarm i fortunately still woke up at 7.10am, threw on clothes and rushed out the door to meet Machelle at McDonald’s and get a taxi to the train station, Hualamphong. The 8.30am Chiang Mai bound train left on time (seated by two monks who had a set of brand new Tesco brand camping equipment) and I read ‘Into the Wild’ most of the way. In Phinsanolok at 2pm we got a tuk tuk and local bus to Sukhotai then a truck to the hotel a man was promoting at the station. It proved a good decision as central location, nice people and huge room with all amenities. In the evening we looked at the food stalls lining the road the other side of the bridge, sat at one for ok Pad Thai then decided to go to where the music was coming from, chancing upon a festival/fair with shows, games, random food of all sorts and zero white people. We had a cocktail at Choppers Bar then went back for sleep about 12.30am.

We were up at 5.30am and on a truck within half an hour in the freezing cold (sides open) for the trip to the UNESCO World Heritage site! Unlike most historical places I have been we were the very first tourists of the day and coincidentally it was the founder of the Thai language, King Ramkhamhaeng’s, birthday so hundred’s of monks occupied his monument chanting and praying making for quite the sight. Once past the celebrations we had the whole place to ourselves and it was as much about the ruins as the beautiful very peaceful parkland that encompasses them; in early morning light and with the lakes providing pristine reflections it was incredible. We walked around all the central temples and their many statues including the island of Wat Trapang Ngoen and khmer influenced Sri Sawai leaving the main palace complex, Wat Machathat, till last when the coach loads were just arriving.

We collected our things and took a double decker bus to Chiang Mai which took 5 hours meaning could finish my book and discuss with Shell what our next moves should be. At the entrance to the old city, Tha Pae Gate, we got a slice at Paradise Pizza as she struggled for accommodation and when I found her somewhere over the road we parted ways as I went to nearby Little Bird- not nice. Here I met Amy (been here a few days), showered and chilled with a group downstairs and bought some beers before meeting them at Reggae Bar. The place was a full on sausage fest and when gay Carlo from the hostel propositioned me it was time to leave to not much better Babylon where stayed till 4am with people from Ireland and Canada.

Once Amy had woken me and we figured out our options we had a huge bowl of fruit/yoghurt/muesli in the market for 50 baht then slowly meandered south stopping at a boots, second hand book stores (bought some good ones), the fish pond (can feed them and quite big) and some fountains. After some club sandwiches we looked in a tribal shop, saw the semi collapsed Wat Cledi Luang (held the emerald Buddha till an earthquake centuries ago), spoke to a monk about his education and reasons for becoming one, got really hot and as pretty stressed/depressed Amy bought me the first real Cheddar Cheese have had since home!

At Little Bird I changed to a smaller non ensuite room (no choice), used wifi to book some future flights and sat outside drinking and playing cards till 11pm. Upon seeing Shell with some dick at the bars I proceeded to nigh on chug my strong bucket, torpedo a beer and do some Jagerbombs which inevitably led to me being very very drunk! Apparently I slid down a door then Amy and two London guys we met put me in a tuk tuk and at the hostel she placed me in the recovery position, took out all my valuables and left me a note to read when conscious- oops!

Not feeling too perky I slept a brief amount of time on my actual bed and woke up to find my roommate, classy Chloe, had wet herself as had also had a heavy night! There was a 3 hour wait at the bus station so lay on my bags the entire time with Amy taking good care of me. Seated at the back of the cramped minibus for what we knew was going to be a hellish journey was not good at all but I just about kept my composure for the hundreds of mountainous curves that took over three hours to get through. In the quite beautiful town of Pai we made our way the 15 minutes to Spicy Pai set by a field in a rural setting (three subtle wooden/bamboo buildings making for a great first impression) and in the cavernous very open dorm (beds various heights linked by many ladders) we spoke to three Norwegians, attempted more sleep and ate good curries and a burger at Yellow Sun. Late afternoon I got blasted by the freezing shower then chilled in the common area with beer then got involved in a long poker game set up by 42 yr old Gypsy john from Manchester. I came 3rd out of the 8 playing and in the process got speaking to a really sound guy from California, surfer dude Mike, who would end up spending the next 3 weeks with! It got very cold indeed and as still tired I went to bed but had to sleep in my jeans, jumper, hat and with two blankets on top of me just to feel a little bit of warmth- not what am used to.

At 8.30am I had toast, sat in the fresh morning air, played Frisbee over the volleyball net with Mike and, along with Amy and Quebec Matt went to town to hire some good Trek mountain bikes from Big Little Cafe (100 baht for 24hr). Away from town and into the hills we went taking a track into the wilderness with views extending over lush valleys, huts and farmland which got the muscles going. Past barking dogs and locals giving us weird looks the road deteriorated making us cross many streams (some seated some not) until we locked the bikes together and continued on foot and over rocks to the small but strong/untainted/majestic Hua Chang waterfall where put our heads under it and Mike put mud all over himself Predator style. It may have taken over three hours to reach our destination but it took less than two to return to Spicy (hurt foot twice on a cliff and pedal). We ate at Yellow Sun, bought an awesome colourful woolly hat from the nightly street market, smoked some joints on the floor of the dorm, sat by the hot fire with most of the other guests and along with Trina borrowed Aussie Mitch’s scooter to get food from both 7/11’s (as you do) before using my laptop and sleeping by 1am.

Wanting to make the most of our bikes we rode the ‘short’ distance to the WW2 Memorial Bridge but in fact it was 15km each way on the main road over many hills making for a much needed but unwanted workout. At the cafe we ordered giant hash brown English breakfasts with Charlie and Jazz then spent the afternoon lazing by the pool at Fluid (cold water but refreshing) with the Norwegians (played first game of Uno). I wrote in my journal then at 5.30pm had my first warm shower here and in a group of 8 walked to The Steak House for a 120 baht meal with me and Catrina sharing a Mojito bucket. The girls got fresh waffles then as not much happening at Spicy I persuaded a drunk Charlie to lend a tipsy me his scooter to scout out the bars and go ‘fishing’. I lost him at the Rasta Bar when with Brits Laura and Emma, popped into Bamboo next door and not too late went home.

As soon as we were awake we had a good Frisbee session with Canadian Jared and got a lift to town to hire out our own scooters as all insurance included which is unheard of in Asia. I had a cute 100cc pink automatic, ‘Pink Pony’, and Mike a 125cc yellow semi called ‘Mustard Machine’. We put together a group to ride the 6km to Thom’s Elephant Camp where we did a 90 minute tour on three of the beasts- on biggest one with Mike/Jared with Amy/Ari and Mani/Victor on the other two. Sitting on the head was prime as the guys had all the shoulder and back movement going straight through them as we moved along the road carefully following the long haired mahout (funny guy and clearly the head honcho), stopping every now and again because of dogs and vegetation (food). At the Treehouse Resort we manoeuvred down towards the river and when in the waist deep water had an awesome time getting thrown off the animals, being splashed, launching ourselves off their heads and on occasion emerging to see all three of them tower over you quite scarily. I lost sunnies, shit floated about and had middle bitch seat on way back but all good as was heaps of fun. At Spicy we sat with a beer swapping photos watching the sun set before dinner and Sangsom drinking with everyone else as flip cup didn’t really take off. At the bars I was chatting to Mani and Catrina mainly then later on went off with the Norwegian for a random ride then struggled to keep us both warm in the dorm.

Boat and bus tickets into Laos were bought at Aya travel the next morning (San Fran Ari asking a million questions) then had a very healthy and delicious mango/yoghurt/honey smoothie and a literally bone cracking and well needed back/neck/shoulder massage (200 baht) beside the others. I made it to the Fluid pool party at 3pm to see an amazing array of girls strutting about in bikinis, had a tequila sunrise and spoke to the Brits as Machelle invariably turned up to make things just slightly weird as attempted to completely ignore each other the whole time. Me and Ari got foiled by the no booze in 7/11 till 5pm law but later achieved our goal, ate with Jazz and upon seeing the party now much quieter did a totti run with Mike, picking up two Canadians, but screwing up by talking about past conquests in front of them.

The constant slow pace and lack of motivation from anyone to do anything was getting to Mike once our routine frisbee throwing was over so as he went for a ride I wrote and listened to Ari constantly deliberate her movements then packed my waterproof bag, bought three day Reggae Fest tickets off the official promoter in town for a discounted price and ate food at Hong Beer as listed in the guide books and busiest place in town (pay 80 baht, pick 4 things to go with rice plus a water then sit down enjoying every mouthful). On two bikes we fit 4 girls on the Mustard Machine and Pink Pony to go to the Mor Phoeng Waterfall a few km to the west past weed and opium sellers. Finding most of the hostel to be scattered around the area on various levels Mike got naked and jumped into one of the pools and struggled to hide his manhood when climbing up to walk back then I lost my balance sliding to the bottom one and gravity took its course getting me there in one piece luckily (cracking video). I very nearly took the wrong bike upon leaving and at Spicy hung out with Ari till took her to the bus once ate the most amazing pumpkin spring rolls, waffles and pumpkin and pork curry from different people.

At Edible Jazz along with Mike and the hot Brummies we listened to live music then sat by a fire with legend Shaun and the Kiwi until bought Samsung to make an already strong bucket extra potent; was with the crazy guys in the blue and pink suits who are not allowed to take them off for anything as part of one fucked up bet that lasted almost 3 weeks and ended with one having the others face tattooed on his arse (amazing). In celebration of Australia Day we partied at another bar (Dutch cougar tried coming on to me- no thankyou) then found Shell in a trance poking the dying fire in a vain attempt to get warm so offered my services as ‘big spoon’ as already 4am- impossible to not be around her.

It was now my turn to be frustrated at doing nothing and was in a funny mood all morning riding around town aimlessly, laying by the pool for an hour and when ready to go again happened to put the stand of my bike through the end of my big toe (only scooter injury I received in Asia and wasn’t even sitting on it). Shaun put antiseptic on and bandaged it up (so painful) as Mike returned with the suits and their prized fighting Cockerel they had just bought (fought the next day and lost easily). A number of us pre drank beer and whisky before taking a free shuttle to the outskirts and up a 3km dirt track to the Reggae Festival entrance where to our combined shock there was a mere couple hundred people about and techno music playing! Things soon changed to the genre we came for and our group made its own fun with sneaked in alcohol. I had a good time and chatted to countless randoms including a gorgeous pint sized surf instructor from California, Shea, who joined back to her hotel once things had rapidly died down after midnight; being not cold for a night was a blessing.

A band practising outside woke us up mid morning so got up, ate in town with her friend Crystal and at the pool got talking to young Aussie Ollie about my various car problems in his country. In the evening a number of us went to Buffalo for the Liverpool vs United FA cup game and the plan was to stay in town but after arguing with Shell I rode me and Ollie to the festival where he bought me a bucket or two as got him in for free. Later on when hunting for food up the slope I came across a wasted Ollie who fell right onto a food table then again into a fire somehow avoiding getting burnt. Although drunk myself I put him on my bike and in the bitter cold made it to the track by the hostel in one piece but found the loose material and veered off into a wet and muddy ditch soaking us both (bike undamaged) as we laughed our heads off at 5am probably waking people up.

I rose to see Mike arriving back in just his purple Toucan boxers after a Dutch threesome (fair play) then ate at the Wishing Well with Shell before seeing her off in a minibus at 2.50pm. It was my last night in lovely, amazing Pai (like Byron but with no beach) and so made use of the bike, mingled with newbie’s (Grant being a weirdo as always), did usual walking street food sampling and had Sangsom before a few of us on scooters headed up for the last night of Reggae music having a ball with everyone being there together the first couple hours. I watched Mike deteriorate into oblivion in the best way possible, succeeding in kissing 20 girls, as I fell asleep standing up and when back to life met Brits Laura and Emma then mutually agreed with Ollie it was a good time to go as not feeling it.

It was nice waking up when my body felt like it as listened to the goings on around me and contemplating how much of a good time have had in this town. My clothes and everything else was scattered around as I tried putting it all together, paid the tab for room and drink (1500 baht) and along with Mike went for a full hour solid burn into the hills; nothing like being on two wheels and think will do my license when home. We got our deposits back, ate at Nang Beer (5 choices) and really didn’t enjoy the ‘trek’ to Spicy (two legs sucks) where wrote in journal and in the common area looked at flights/trains for Europe despite having a million other things to do that were way more important. Amazingly the others helped out with taking me, Amy, Mike and Mani to the bus stop along with all our stuff on their bikes then once had my favourite spring rolls, grasshoppers, a kebab, northern style curry and bought postcards/souvenirs/rolling stones singlet we boarded the bus to Chang Khong. When we arrived at 3am we instantly split up into rooms and slept (ant infested bathroom and rock solid bed didn’t matter).

In the middle of a good dream it was time to get up and go at 7.15am for the drawn out process of leaving Thailand and entering Laos, which was the other side of the Mekong River; chaotic but straightforward. We met up with Ari, had a salad baguette and were soon at the pier for another wait before being some of the last people on the long boats. Luckily we moved to another boat, to get seats together, and enjoyed the multiple hour adventure with alcohol looking at all the goings on at the river bank (significant poverty obvious) and interesting rocks and cliffs, spoke to a music videographer (same camera as me just amazing lenses) and wrote in my journal as others slept. Bags were started to be bought up from the depths of the boat signalling we were near to Pakbang but it took a few manoeuvres and pushing two other water craft aside to squeeze to shore at 6.20pm where the now dozen of us went to Hotel Serika to pair up. Mike’s half full bottle of Sangsom had broke in his bag but he got over that quickly when burst into my room with a barbequed small bird and promptly ripped the head off Ozzy style much to Ari and Spanish Elisabeth’s horror; had consolation prize of the feet. With a limited number of options for food we chose the one with most people (all white) for Lao beer and Buffalo Curry and playfully picking up and passing an energetic, young and nippy puppy around. Wanting to make the most of this one horse town we went to the only open bar, had free shots and sat down with a group of girls on an organised tour for a ‘questions and lighter’ game (random). We walked them home, bumped into an opium smoking New Orleans guy and went to the hotel.

Amy was prepared and made sure we had the best seats facing each other for the second long day on the slow boat and also meant we got talking to Melbournites Bridget and Lisa who would spend rest of Laos with which helped pass the time. At last in Luang Prabang (very full with locals made to stand near hot engine at back) with a group of 9 that all got on well we went past French colonial buildings and through the narrow never ending market in search for a hotel, chancing upon one with no name but had 4 of the 5 rooms available for 75k pp (about 9 dollars) each. At the ‘food alley’ for only 10k we could fill one plate as much as possible (except meat) proving quite the balancing act but chopsticks frustrated me so much that Mani found me a fork before I spat the dummy. Due to town wide curfews the place to be late is the bowling alley a tuk tuk ride away so played some games, drank cheap whisky and had a blast with the Norwegians from Pai also being there; lost to Jeff first of all then redeemed myself in a rematch.

I had a lie in then, armed with cash and camera, joined the others to That Chomsi Hill and climbed up in the high humidity for a 180 degree view then peered into the dilapidated Pa Houak temple, tried getting Red Cross help for Mike’s heavily infected and swollen feet (not what we hoped for) and all famished ate very filling and scrumptious food at the not so ‘Ancient Cafe; group bills/decision making driving me insane. I visited the overpriced but ok Royal Palace Complex, tacky gold painted temple and with the heat getting to me and Jeff we went to our place to literally chill (Mike been there whole day with a/c on full blast). After another mountainous plate of food I bought a chain for my shark tooth, silk cloth and another singlet then had cocktails at the trendy Hive and another visit to the infamous bowling alley with my night ending in a shouting match with Ari and me smashing a beer on the floor and storming off with Bridget and Mike trailing in my wake!

To my disbelief she had the audacity to wake me up and borrow my laptop so just handed it her as me and Mike had very manly Mocha Frappe’s then at 11.30am got transportation to the beautiful, serene, turquoise and stepped Kwang Si waterfalls which I roamed all over, hiked to the top of the main one and then spent an hour with Bridget, Lisa, Amy, Mani, Jeff, Elisabeth and Mike using the rope swing (Amy was a bit of a wimp and caused a hold up when too scared) and avoiding being in the water that long (little fish biting open cuts- my feet has enough).

For dinner we visited a fondue place across the black river via a lit up narrow rope bridge (cook ingredients yourself on stoves in the table) for something different then made a quick exit away from Ari to Utopia to discuss our mutual dislike for the girl over some beers then had a rare early night in preparation for VV and Mr Brennan (currently on 22 hour bus from Bangkok).

I caught up on journal when awake (to avoid needing to do it next few days),saw monks taking offerings outside, got money out (only 1 million- not enough) and sat in the sun awaiting the heavily delayed pick up that had been arranged. Along with two British girls were told to fit into a cramped minibus parked by someone’s house/construction site and by 9.30am we were out of town on an unsealed dirt road (work in progress) that was constantly bumpy making the inside claustrophobic and very uncomfortable when the temperature increased. The route soon became a mountain pass hugging the contours and offering spectacular views (valleys, no flat land, scattered poor settlements and everything very green) to take our mind off things. At the scenic lunch stop we narrowly avoided going over the edge on a log we tried getting a group picture on (not fixed in!) and unfairly had to wait a full 80 minutes for our driver before reaching the dusty ghost town of Vang Vieng at 3.27pm- lost out to Mike on betting the time by a single minute!

Wanting to be on our own we left the others for Vieng Vilay GH and a large room with two bathrooms, two double beds and an archway semi separating them on the ground floor for only 50k a night for both of us- Winning! We bought our own lock to make it safe, used wifi and walked around questioning where all the people were- not good first impression but the outlying scenery looked lovely. Inevitably we bumped into the others, minus Ari, so ate French bread pizza together and embraced JB on the street as not seen him since October (with friend B-Lo). Now a devastating foursome we conjured up our own buckets then partied at Bucket Bar as Mani hooked me up with her fake boobed friend Laura meaning a swift exit to the room; Mike came in for a second and left to stay at the others hotel (haha).

When she left at 10am we bought colourful singlets, cheap sunglasses, big unhealthy baguettes, a not so waterproof bag for cash/cigarettes/protection and stuff to make drinks for a day at the river doing anything but relaxing! At the quietish first bar I met 4 girls from Jersey (all posh), played beer pong games on the deck by the water, laid a solid Lao beer and free shot foundation then got on the buckets in Star Bar with the straw rarely being out of my mouth. I cooled under the water hose, joined a whisky train or two and sat on a table in the river with everyone till jumped on top of Amy’s tube for a free ride across to Mojito Bar (didn’t need own one) which was the place to be. Our group congregated where there was space and free booze by the 20 foot high zip line which we of course all used, including Amy. All in an amazingly happy mood alot of kissing was going on then when a chill set in and some left I hung with Shell (a day ahead of me as ever) and she joined me to mine after standing out the back of a tuk tuk as that full.

Following an ultra potent mushroom bucket with Italian Claudio and South African Danny at Smile Bar I was in my own little world and unable to string a decent sentence together (Olga here now) but stayed out till close bringing to an end one of the best party days ever that kicks springs breaks ass!

As Mike rented a scooter to clear his head I stayed with people at the hotel, ate a baguette and made buckets for a second day on the river of awesomeness at 1pm with JB. We got into the swing of things alongside Bridget/Lisa/Amy/Mani/Jeff on the water tables, pulled a hot scot as was her birthday, lost a thong and also a bucket due to Lisa being quite clumsy, wrote stuff on each other with pen (‘Vibe Protection!’) and I waded across to Mojito. The following hour or two were up there with the best of my life as we all danced crazily to great tunes under the still hot sun, picked each other up, took dozens of photos and were in our own little bubble. When some dispersed further downstream and didn’t come back me and Laura watched as Amy scaled the widest point in search unnecessarily worried, stayed till 6.45pm and in town offered the services of my shower despite her place being around the corner- gentlemen thing to do of course. For the second time in a row I was late for free buckets at Smile then me and the Californian tried chasing possible leads before giving up and hanging with some aussies who were off in the morning. I did a memorable slow dance with Bridget to Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ (big contrast to the madness all around) then witnessed Mike going all primeval and animalistic and a high Mani trying to keep her composure before seeing off the Melbourne girls and Jeff bringing to an end one awesome group.

In the morning we did exceedingly little and deliberated for hours what to do so once sat at a Family Guy Cafe organised transport for me, Mani, Olga and Amy to a big cave you could venture deep inside (no paths or barriers) and a pleasant swimming hole full of people (needed a day off the madness of tubing but in hindsight should of stopped being a pussy and gone). I sorted out Vietnam stuff and packed then attempted to go for a semi nice meal but inevitably had street baguettes for the umpteenth time then me and Mike polished off a bottle of Whisky in less than an hour; JB and B-Lo came back from tubing inoperable not to be heard from again that night. Being eager we made full sure the free bucket was not missed, wasted a good hour talking to two Essex girls who went to bed early and I left with gorgeous French Canadian Kim who spoke to me once Mike had tried and failed (Rolling Stones singlet working its magic yet again).

With only minutes to be at the travel agency I flew out the door and hugged Mike just as we were on our way out of town bringing to an end a journey that will long live in my memory as he is one of the soundest individuals I have met on my travels (now has a scholarship to Berkeley to do Archaeology masters- genius). At the back of a small minibus with John we listened to my iPod through his splitter, sat patiently through electrical problems (causing a prolonged stop miles from anywhere) and wondered what we were doing when made it to Soviet era Phonsavan at 5pm. Like most towns the damn bus station was nowhere near the area we needed to be in so had a long walk looking for Kong Kea hostel (asked the odd white person directions) and had last two bungalows for 6 of us; me, JB and B-Lo sharing a ‘mega bed’ (two large singles joined together). We discussed tour options then at the MAG Information Centre watched a documentary on the work the bomb disposal crews do in the remote villages (Americans dropped 2 million tonnes of bombs during Vietnam War achieving next to nothing) and found out one of the main donators is JOA (Jersey Overseas Aid) making me very proud. We used the internet, ate crappy tasteless food (worst country in Asia in culinary terms) and after going back in the cold wrote in journal and heard two dogs really going at each other quite scarily outside (was a full moon!) just as went to bed.

I stayed in my sleeping bag as long as I could with my wolly hat on then along with the rest went to the pickup point on the road only to be stuck in the battered old van a while driving about town wasting time (organised trips suck). We stopped at a ‘whisky village’ where the most interesting thing was some piglets scurrying around then after passing some quite interesting bomb craters went to a quite obscure one by a farm improving my irritable mood greatly. Lunch was just plain bad and I didn’t bother finishing it then finally we saw Site 2 of the Plain of Jars up a path on top of a hill amongst trees with no others about; quite interesting and able to take good shots including an intimidating black spider.

Led by our tipsy guide he kept telling us to slow our tame pace down as we hiked 40 minutes along a ridge for views of the entire area (tired imagining the B52’s above raining bombs everywhere) under the hot sun towards site 3 which was reached over fields- the jars were already becoming a bit same same. At a rusty old shell of a tank I ignored my guide and went over to a female MAG team who were preparing to diffuse some ornaments in the area- really cool and best part of the day. At the biggest Site 1 closest to town half the guys didn’t bother going in but me and Amy still had a look around following the path then upon us asking to see a Hmong Village the driver took the piss and dropped us on the road to walk a few hundred metres by some huts then get back in the van (argh!). In Phonsavan we used wifi, had a burger and chips (only good food is western) and at the bus station me and JB thought we were clever by picking the very front seats on the top level as unlimited leg room but clearly forgot how bad the roads are so were rolling around with no support under the cold air in a vain attempt to sleep; using laptop gave me a headache so just listened to music and got some shut eye by 3.30am.

Somehow I think I had 2-3 hours lying in a semi-foetal, head on cushion by the window, back against John with legs on my backpack position as we pulled in and negotiated the touts down to a respectable 50k to Vientiane city centre. Here the girls looked for a place to stay (Amy booked different flight to us accidentally and Mani going south), changed money, ate yet more baguettes, did journal and tried figuring out an exit plan for young B-Lo who literally didn’t have a clue and had zero cash so couldn’t go anywhere. I did blog stuff for many hours then had good sweet and sour chicken and left with John to the surprisingly big and modern airport where many Asian businessmen were in their suits (represented a sign of increasing prosperity in the country in my eyes). I used my last 10,000 Kip for an energy drink and boarded the plane for Hanoi, Vietnam which is where this entry will conclude.

I arrived into Kuala Lumpur at 1.30pm and was soon on board an Aero Bus to the city centre then the LRT Transit system to Majid Jamek for flash packer Reggae Mansion to meet Amy. In my individual ‘pod’ in the big dorm I stayed cool then braved the rain shower to eat beef noodles and meatballs (‘extra balls’) at a Chinese joint; already noticing the diversity and efficiency of the city. In the heart of Chinatown we viewed the wealth of fake goods on display then walked past a heart wrenching pet store (dogs in cages looking miserable) on way to the Central Market. We planned Asia for a while, just made it to the end of ‘beer and burger’ night and literally chilled in the ice box till 2am.

Once made most of free juice and breakfast we were on our way to the KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Centre) to see the Petronas Tower’s (tallest building in 1997). We took many photos of the towers and surrounding park/buildings as the temperature and humidity increased when we walked Jl. Ampang all the way to the Thai Embassy to wait patiently to apply/pay for a visa ($55 single entry). After eating 4 MYR street food in the rain near Bukit Bintang we eventually located the GSC cinema in a multi level mall (theme park covering half of top 5 floors). On Malaysia’s largest digital screen we watched the extremely good ‘MI:4 Ghost Protocol’ a day before it premieres back home then in the dry evening sky looked at the dozens of bears representing each country (painted differently) by a glowing water fountain, Christmas decorations and ritzy ‘Armani’ type shops.

In the mood to use two legs we were drawn to the brilliantly lit up Tower’s and had a soft drink at Dome. Not wanting local food we initially tried for a Dominoes but had to be realistic by eating at McDonald’s (BK had no burgers left?) right by the hostel- so tired by now as very long day in this modern metropolis.

I readied things for Thailand walked about then ate warung style food, saw the ‘old’ train station and collected our passports from the embassy. That evening in the market we had some pastries, bananas and a red bull; great vibe/taste and sellers by no means annoying or too pushy. On our rooftop bar with a view of the skyscrapers (including KL Tower) we lay on loungers and later, at 11.30, I left Amy and took the last train to Sentral only to find out the first airport bus wasn’t for 3 hours so did journal to bide the time. At 3.30am I was back at the LCCT and forced by Air Asia to take things out my bag to reach the 20kg weight limit. Besides that everything went smoothly and even got to walk outside on the perimeter of the airplane zone following signals from staff to make sure the right plane was reached- never done that before!

I landed into the sunshine of Phuket at 7.20am and got in a ‘metered’ 400 baht taxi with a young couple to the epitome of Thai, resort seediness- Patong Beach! I checked into Cheap Charlie’s, met London Rich and strolled to the absolutely packed beach full of big, old people wearing a disgustingly little amount, posers, touts, mugs, jet ski operators and of course a number of babes meaning the sunglasses were firmly on. We drank at my favourite bar, Kangaroo Bar, played connect4 and shut the box with the bar girls, saw Machelle, Kim and Finny and had 2 hours kip as not slept wince night before last. We drank downstairs, got a couple of roadies and entered the mayhem of Bangla Road (a sea of people) and directed to a place where other backpackers congregate for cheap buckets- White Rooms.

Hangover 2 style we both woke up looking at each other wondering what the hell happened the night before, opened balcony door to ‘Thailand’ and had another guest point at Rich laughing saying ‘oh my god you were so f***** up last night?!’, haha. Feeling light headed and not tired (now powered by Red Bull and will be the next 8 days) we found out about the cheap microwavable/toasted food at 7/11 (would be my staple throughout this country), met the Kiwis on the beach (one lounger to save money), went in sea and sheltered from rain. We Pre drank on our balcony and in Kangaroo watched football and listened to some tunes when at White Rooms it ended just being me and Shell; got scratched by a lifted chair. Being quite tired and well over Patong I spent much of the next day sleeping, writing or typing and in the evening did the usual getting drunk as that is all you can do here; even though it’s not cheap. The highlight was having four hot Aussie girls pole dancing above us at one bar but then leaving straight after.

I carried my 30+ kg of luggage over to Patong Backpackers to check in and meet a newly arrived Amy and lay on towels with a beer by the sea until becoming too hot. As she was tired I relaxed on my bed, spoke to a t-totalled Californian then ate seafood at the temporary night market and met up with South Africans Nikki and Mirella for cocktails; 2 for 1 Long Island Iced Teas the best deal in town!

This god forsaken place (completely regret coming back to) didn’t want us to leave as we slept through our alarm but luckily could go on the other bus at 12pm to Phuket Town and then onto the Phi Phi Cruiser which was packed out and chair/shadeless on the top reminiscent to a refuge boat. Rounding the majestic limestone cliffs you arrive into what is arguably one of the most touristy areas of land in the world- Tonsai. Off the ferry and after the fight for the bags we did paid 800 baht at Tara Inn then looked for a better place from the next day onwards; area double as busy as three years ago! We saw the beach, ate the first of many 80 baht giant, delicious pizza slices and met up with Ash and Rich at popular Pappaya’s later on for good Thai food. At centrally located Dojo’s we stared at the hundreds of girls going by, drank many Chang’s and mixers, spoke to promoter Dave and took some pseudoephedrine for some reason. Street buckets (300ml bottle of spirit/sprite/redbull) for the equivalent of £3 were purchased en route to Slinkey’s beach bar and unsurprisingly once finishing it in a mere 30 minutes I have a few hours blank from ordering my second to being next to Shell on the sand missing my thongs and mobile phone.

At 11.30am next day we moved to small, pleasant cheaper Ibiza House, wasted a good deal of money on an English breakfast wondered around the maze of lanes, sat on the beach and paddled in the two feet of water as low tide. Seeing dark grey clouds nearing we timed our escape to a tee as the heavens really did open for much of the afternoon so did some downloading and tried something called sleeping (not happening). Time to go out again (same daily ritual) me and Amy ate at Pappaya then at Dojo’s got chatting to massive Liverpool fan Carley about our team and how they have been faring of late. A dick of a Thai guy inexplicably emptied our buckets right in front of us on the beach (couldn’t believe it) then in the early hours I spotted my uni/golf friend Giles who hadn’t seen in many years- small world.

Minimal sleep and god awful noodles put me in a foul mood in the morning (didn’t know whether was coming or going) so decided to actually do something with my day for once. Me, Amy, Shell and Kim paid 250 baht for a half day trip to ‘The Beach’ which didn’t exactly go well. Walking over a building site barefoot, cramming as many backpackers as possible onto a longtail boat and keeping us waiting in the burning sun for ages was for starters. The fun and games happened when we realised the sea was not all that calm and with the boat so low in the water this made for quite the scary experience- rolling around violently, water constantly soaking us, people screaming, the driver not caring all made it rather fucked up but we survived and entered the calm waters of the island for a pointless snorkel. On Maya Bay we chilled on the sand, ate crappy sandwiches and played frisbee before our hour was up and time to return; balanced the boats now so no issues. In Tonsai we showered then met Nikki, Mirella, Giles and two guys he met here (Andy and Anthony) in the Irish Bar for buckets in a different ambiance. Going back and forth to two groups of people in Slinkey’s gauging relative ‘interest’ I had a really fun night and on my way home at 6am I saw a wasted Giles who had just had ‘sweet and sour chicken’ written in Thai tattooed on his bicep- hilarious!

It was Christmas Eve and at midday I ate with the girl’s at Calamaro’s, bought Santa hats and spent afternoon in water and on beach with Shell and Arianne(just arrived) until 6pm. Me and Amy played Xmas music then, all dressed up, drank at busy Dojo’s with everyone; sneaked in 7/11 Chang’s as half the price. Making it to the beach parties prior to midnight meant a massive celebration amongst us with hugs and kisses everywhere but I screwed up having too many eggs in one basket and being indecisive so went home alone; deserved it.

My second Christmas in a row away from home was such a contrast to the one had in Kalgoorlie as in was with friends from home and travelling, near the sea on a beautiful island, at a party place and happy with the way things were going with few uncertainties in my thoughts. We wore hats in the sea (our version of Ouaisne swim) and went for a lovely lunch at Ciao Bella, having crab salad, Gnocchi seafood and a glass of white wine then spent time with Shell in the room as Amy skyped on balcony. More drinking at the same places was duly done but due to an apparent shooting incident places shut down ‘early’ making for a not as crazy night; sat on beach getting bitten by mosquitoes.

It was at last time to leave the, not for everyone’s tastes party island with the Jersey crew. Unlike Indonesia everything went so smoothly, on time and with zero stress- good boat crossing seated comfortably at the back, free airport shuttle ride (blagged we were other people), free food and chocolate milk at the Bangkok Airways lounge (no idea how got in), quick flight with cold, healthy food and upon arrival to Koh Samui, once ignored the laughing taxi drivers, got in one half price by the road the five minutes to the pre booked Moonlight Guest House.

The bus took us to loud Bangrak pier mid morning where we saw people come off the boat looking rough as and some with crutches giving a good impression. Once in Koh Phangan the four of us were quickly put in a 200 baht pp van bound for the beaches of the west where we got off at Shiralea Backpacker, spoke with manager Richie and got shown our semi-luxury en suite bungalows before breaking a hammock, eating baguettes and noticing how unparty like it was. We introduced ourselves to lovely peaceful Haad Yao beach, purchased supplies and drank with British/SA marine Shaun in the evening till not too late.

I had a lie in, ate at Bayview (house kitchen- one drink, dish at a time) and sat on the laptop at Shiralea watching workmen ready the pool bar for a ‘warm up party’ that never got off the ground compounding my booking error. I drank by myself (by now had own dog who slept on porch who Amy named Tufty) then jumped in a truck with a group on holiday from Middleborough to Haad Rin to meet Carley and Laura at the Family Guy bar (Pla Bla). We had a drink in Tommy’s Resort then hit the 3km sweeping beach to order a strong bucket from Jo Joe’s stall (dozens in a line all very similar) then stayed in front of Cactus watching the fire ropes/breathing, dancing on stages and getting another bucket. I partied with the Bali Germans and stayed in the girls cold room sometime between 4 and 5am; good start!

I explored Haad Rin (nicer and less crazy than expected), sat on sunrise beach and had to take two separate rides, wait half an hour in Thong Sala and walk 15 minute walk just to reach the hotel. I ventured out solo again for the Coral Beach pool party watching it fill with drunken people but left for Haad Rin and more awesome beach partying with the Scouser.

When finally out of bed at midday I bought an orange full moon singlet and on way home stopped by Amsterdam Bar with some Israelis for a great view of the islands and to smoke a joint purchased over the counter- as you do! Being close to Haad Yao it was easy to get a ride (replaced fake Havaianas with real ones as someone had taken mine) and stroll on the beach watching the waves as met Amy with American Heather (lives in Tokyo) who just dived with. We bought booze and drank while getting ready, then met some Norwegian’s at JB Hut and got in a pickup truck to Baan Tai for the Half Moon Party (tried having food but proceeded to drop it on the floor, plate and all). After stomaching the 500 bath entrance fee I was amazed at the set up- bars high above in a semi circle above a huge dance area all lit in a blue hue. We made Heather lose her bucket virginity (had half and had to be taken home) as I was receiving much attention from my new top (brighter than rest), danced alot and left about 4.30am directly to the hostel.

The final day of 2011 (unquestionably the best year of my life so far) began with some sort of lie in and just relaxed in preparation for what was to come. In the hottest sun I had experienced in Asia me and Amy went to Haad Rin very early, saw preparations going on, stands set up and tried picturing what it would look like in a few hours. We met some Californians, sat in Pla Bla, put on face/body paint till it was bucket time at Jo Joe’s (gave me a free one). Initially all together we began to separate as I went walkabout amongst the party goers in the incredible, unique, high energy atmosphere unlike anything else on earth- 70,000 people! Miraculously, everyone met up prior to midnight, as arranged, at Sunrise Bar so we could welcome 2012 together on the steps overlooking the crowded beach- 10, 9, 8...3, 2, 1...HAPPY NEW YEAR! Ecstatic, I hugged and kissed all those in the vicinity, regardless if had met them before, and watched the fireworks. I lost people and ended up hanging out with Canadian Allison (met at Half Moon) going to Mushroom Mountain and spending a considerable amount of time witnessing all the lost flip flops and debauchery going on by the beach and in the street. We went to isolated Bottle Beach and lay on the sand post sunrise then got put in the bed of the pickup taking her to the ferry before a motor taxi home at 12.15pm.

Until going to the ferry the following day I slept, searched flights, watched movies, ate more Thai food, listened to the pounding rain and finally saw a fun group of people arrive- far too late. The rain really intensified to monsoonal proportions as got slightly screwed over at the ferry terminal but made it to Koh Samui fine in the big swell’s (people were sick) and outside Family Mart embraced my Mum and Dad who had not seen since July 2010- extremely happy! We took Amy to Monkey Samui hostel then I got acquainted with the luxurious Hansar hotel and the huge room my parents were in; open plan, bath in centre, balcony, every amenity you could imagine, all looking brand new and highest quality. I had a Heineken, emptied all my things and got real excited looking at Christmas cards and sifting through a number of things they had brought over for me including a new shockproof phone, walking sandals, Reef thongs, some money, beard trimmer, Walkers shortbread and Helman’s Mayonnaise. I used the perfect shower and had a cocktail then in the Fisherman’s Village of Bophut went to a quiet, very expensive Italian Restaurant for a plate of antipasti and a big pizza along with imported beer and good white and red wine...the high life! We watched some football in Frog and Gecko with a pint then slept in the put up single bed.

What better way to start the day than a buffet breakfast including smoked salmon and dressing, many types of bread, ham and cheese, apple juice and eggs/sausages/bacon/mushrooms/baked beans with copious amounts of ketchup. In our white Civic RX ‘hire car’ with exhaust system we picked up Amy and did a tour of the island (I drove most of the time) seeing Chaweng, a temple, quiet western areas, lunch at Big John’s Seafood and going to a very touristy area which had a tiger chained up, elephant rides, truck excursions and an ok waterfall I climbed up with Dad. I moved into the hostel and had exquisite local cuisine consisting of a mussel starter and sharing 5 different meat/sauce main courses and rice (beef curry my favourite). Mum and I finished the Chilean white wine then I drank my first pint of Guinness since Cape Town, laughed at Dad who was on form and paid 300 baht for a 15 minute taxi journey to our currently empty dorm.

With the sun shining the whole island had a completely different feel to it and it meant golf was on. Ploughing through a family of ducklings wasn’t the greatest start but the Santiburi Golf Club was definitely the nicest looking course I have been to. With my cuts and bites covered up I got setup and introduced to my buggy operator/guide/caddy Thom. Over the course of 18 holes my top changed colour in the heat and despite my consistent driving and long iron play my short game let me down although still beat Dad 3&2 despite having only played on two previous occasions since leaving jersey. At Hansar I swam in the sea and then drove to Lamai to see Machelle and getting very lost/stuck/going wrong way in traffic trying to find Moonlight. That evening I introduced her to my parents, had cocktails at lovely Coco Tam’s and ate at a Mexican. In Chaweng we bought beer at 7/11 and sneaked into a big resort to lie on the loungers listening to the ocean with few people around and skinny dipping in the pool.

I awoke at 6.45am like a zombie as was going on a trip to Ang Thong Marine Park. In a big speed boat we did the worst snorkelling ever in zero visibility, saw the lagoon along with hundreds of others and did some fun kayaking around a stack out to sea before getting dropped off on our beach- best part of the day (waste of time). I relaxed in the infinity pool with Amy and in the evening had drinks on the balcony, passionfruit mojito at the bar and delicious meat and wine at the popular ‘Shack’.

I went shopping at the limited choice of places in the village then repacked all my things from scratch before the parents took me to Big Buddha Pier to say goodbye. In calm conditions the boat arrived in Koh Tao at 4pm where in Sairee Village I had my own room in the centre next to a 7/11 and up through a DVD stall (Amy doing well arranging it). We booked diving at New Way, ate at El Gringo’s with Russian Olga and had beer at sunset before doing the 350 baht pub crawl in free singlets seeing some bars and a Ladyboy show then staying put at lively Fish Bowl to party with more buckets.

All I did prior to my night dive was visit the beach and write in my journal. We and divemaster Jerome stood on the top of the boat under the spectacular evening sky and in the sea by White Rock moved through the very strong surface current to the buoy and descended with torches into the depths for 63 min seeing boxfish and a turtle ascend right in front of me. On dry land we had Italian esque pizza at Farango’s, bought shop drinks and went to a party at recently opened Maya Resort seeing some breathtaking Poi with fire and made sure I was in bed by 3am.

Up at 5.30am along with a full boat of people we departed from Mae Head to the SW Pinnacle which has been undived for a couple of weeks due to bad weather and currents. The vast dive site was lacking in colour and abundance of fish and I really didn’t feel great but our disappointment turned to excitement at news a Whale Shark was nearby at Chumphon Pinnacle- our captain changed plans and headed right for it! As we arrived the other large dive boats had gone and when in the water all rules and groups went out the window as we searched 10-15m down. Upon seeing a diver’s eyes light up in my direction I turned around to see it’s 5 metre body appear out of the dark majestically and go within feet of me prompting us all to race after it till it disappeared- WOW! We high fived in the water and were ecstatic having always wanted to see one. Visibility was poor and no one knew where we were so going leading to an epic swim; in warm thermoline there was a metre wide jellyfish. In town I ate more crap western food (no more!), napped and went to a pizza buffet with Olga and Amy then set off a lantern, saw a huge moon circle and drank through the night at Fish Bowl.

The following morning I found myself and Machelle a lovely wooden bungalow on stilts over the sea near Shark Bay (only 700 baht) so made most of it until we were so hungry and thirsty we had to leave for dinner (Penang Curry) and buy beer/’chippy’s’ to have on the Thai cushions on our porch making for a great evening.

We did a full day snorkelling trip which was ok except for the lack of fish and missing out a portion of the island due to the swell and Nang Yuan Islands were very beautiful (separated by sandy isthmus you can just walk on), if not overrun with holidaymakers taking the charm away. Hungry, we first ate a Pad Thai at New Heaven then dinner at Harbour Resort and a dessert pancake from the street (entertaining food guy).

We parted ways again (she’s Bangkok bound) and as weather worsening I chose to catch up the 10 days behind in my diary which took me an unbelievable 7 hours to do. At 8pm I went to the overnight boat and set up camp on my allocated ‘bed’ by a nice English couple. Contrary to what I thought, the sea was calm as watched Trailer Park Boys and fell asleep with iPod in. We docked into Suratthani at 5.30am via a tuk tuk and shared van made it to Krabi Town where I ignored the ‘warning’s’ from the travel agent and sorted my own longtail boat to stunning Riley (staying at Rappela). Once eaten at Mama’s Kitchen I looked for the viewpoint and was confused when it pointed up a very steep muddy slope. I of course was not mistaken so clambered up to get one extraordinary view of the lush, green town nestled amongst limestone cliffs. I made it down the harder and slippier slope to the lagoon saw the caves and later bi-passed the tourist monkeys and washed off the red/brown dirt at Phranang Beach (climbers above in droves). As rain came down we stayed put till 9pm, had cocktails and curry in ‘The Last Bar’ (zero nightlife) then I had to fight a cockroach in the room as Amy screamed and jumped about like a crazy person.

Upon hearing that nearby Tonsai Beach was backpacker heaven I walked over at low tide, met Claire and Dutch Nienke (met by lagoon) and put stuff in their tent at Jungle Hut (50 baht each); manager Mr Chang quite the guy. I had a healthy bowl of yoghurt, fruit and muesli for then kayaked over to Poda Island with Amy trying to avoid the bigger boats and any currents as quite a way away. Once seen the busy place we turned around and encountered a rain storm that felt amazing. In Tonsai I met the girls for a long wait for lunch (reggae crew) and in evening had half price cocktails with Spanish Mario and sat at busy Rendezvous with large Chang’s and chicken burgers. As it turned midnight marking Nienke’s 27th birthday we watched tide come up and some fire twirling then went to the hard floored tent using a t shirt as a pillow.

The next afternoon I had to cancel a food order to enable me to take part in a sunset tour with the girls which included ok snorkelling, a swim through an island wide cave, BBQ on a deserted beach and swimming with the illuminescent plankton (guide bit of a tool though but had cheap beer). By the tents we shared some Hong Thong, coke and chips, met people at the busiest bar in town and moved to the only one that did buckets (200 baht and strong) which was the Rasta bar where we danced our asses off getting very drunk indeed till 5am.

With red bull still in my system I was up energised like a Duracell Bunny and spoke in length to a couple from Montreal. We decided to leave for about 3pm and were lucky to have zero wait for a boat as one already on verge of leaving full. In the polar opposite resort town of Ao Nang, me, Nienke and settled on an airy room at Bernie’s Place, chilled and popped out for street spaghetti, a drink at Full Moon Bar and a walk past the Ibiza style bars then watched Inbetweener’s and used wifi.

Claire left at lunchtime as we started the trip north using two minibuses and then the overnight coach which broke down (electrical problems) for an hour enabling us to be in Bangkok at a more reasonable time after surprisingly having 5 hours sleep and nothing knicked
My next entry about the beauty of Northern Thailand and Laos will be along shortly...still persevering although still extremely behind 

Continued...

In Flores, mid November me and the Jersey girls hoped for a fun 2 day boat trip to Lombok but only a pair of couples were with us and those that were doing the complete return trip (already on board) were either unaccommodating or were too odd/uninteresting. Despite a nigh on full boat and the top deck being crowded there was little interaction or banter and few drinks being bought with my 5 cans that night being a ‘good tally’. When time for some shut eye it was a choice of gambling with the rain clouds or being with the crew and rats beneath so wisely chose the former.

We left our mooring at 5.15am for the short hop to Rinca Island then in small groups a speedboat took us to the jetty. Our first encounter with the famous Komodo Dragons was very unspectacular indeed with two near the path we used on barren land. As I had been warned there was a large group of the 2 metre reptiles outside the kitchen (‘natural habitat’ my arse) laying in close proximity, or in some cases on top of one another barely moving. To cut a long, boring story short we did a hike into the green, coconut tree covered rolling hills and through some sort of forest not seeing a single one probably because all now realised that being given food is much easier than infecting an animal and waiting days for it to collapse and die!

Disappointed, I just wanted to forget the whole debacle. Snorkelling in North Komodo helped even when on way back a territorial Titan Triggerfish (dive books warn of these) swam from the depths to bite my toe, doing so to half a dozen others including the guide. Having a good spot on deck we chilled the remainder of the day as moved between Sumbawa and a large, unknown volcanic island with storm clouds either side making for quite the spectacle. As is customary on our non party boat we ate a good portion of food, had a beer and set beds up at a miserable 8pm. I shared my stolen Bali bed sheet with Ari, watched the stars and fell asleep.

At Moyo Island we walked 3 metre waterfall that although may have been average at best the swing over the top into the plunge pool was a lot of fun. Back on the open ocean our last ‘stop’ was a tiny coral island which we took a boat to but as all the coral was completely dead and sharp we swam carefully back the few hundred metres. Approaching Labuan Lombok the summit of Rinjani loomed overhead and a few hours later on a coach we were in Sengiggi for the night.

I organised a bemo early to Bangsal, ignored the shitty surroundings and arrived on Gili T (third time in as many weeks). I went directly to Jo’s Turtle Bungalows for a deal on a double bungalow and triple fan room as Lolo was arriving in a couple of hours as (changed final days of her trip to Indo). I had a standard Gili day (lunch, wifi, beach, room, market) then purchased Brum (rice wine) from my dealer as girls locked themselves out; required five guys, a tool box and a bathroom window to open as no spare key. Being my first Friday here we checked out the party happening at Rudy’s, lost Ari and Nicky and not too late went to the bungalow.

Over the next two days I boringly spent a significant amount of time online (posted final Australian blog), sunbathed, booked fast boat to Bali, shared a giant snapper with Ari, ate cheap thick chocolate pancakes, saw a proper sunset third time lucky at Paradise Bar, smoked expensive Sheesha and spent time with Lolo.

My time on the islands of Nusa Tengera was over when a four engined, very powerful speedboat got us to Bali at 11am in next to no time. In the central cultural town of Ubud we chose one of the first places we went past, mid range Sagittarius, then Lolo showed me around (good vibe) before the heaven’s opened at which point we ate a trio of appetizers for lunch and I paid for my first ever massage at a rate of only $5 for an hour (happy ending not apparent.haha); was too weak for my liking (need to be painful!). Once washed some of the oil off we used the empty hotel pool and along with Amy ate at Sjaki’s Warung which employs and helps disabled kids; mixed juice was out of this world!

After a big breakfast we changed places and rented two scooters (Ari and Nicky doing own thing from now on) to see rice terraces and the intact and impressive Gunung Kawi temple set in a valley down steep stairs by fields and a river covered in hanging vines (high humidity). We briefly saw the dormant volcano and adjacent lake of Mt Batur (nothing special), went into thick fog and returned to Ubud on another, more fun road in constant drizzle making good time. We visited Bintang Supermarket on outskirts of town and had one of the best Indonesian meals at Mangga Madu (Tuna Base Kalas) before getting drenched just as we departed. That evening, at Dew Warung, we chatted to an English guy, and an American who intends to purchase a bike and ride throughout the country- very jealous.

As promised our eccentric host Weni provided us with an omelette at 7.30am to give us strength to bike half way across the island to Tulamben via Padang Bai, an Alfa Mart (break) and the truck congested hills near Amlapura. With Mt Agung to my left and the ocean to my right we reached Tach Terminal Dive Resort within two hours. On a pebbled beach nearby amongst a few other groups we did a shore dive by simply walking into the water, putting on flippers, letting air out BCD and following gradient of sea floor getting very good visibility compared to the dark, choppiness on the surface. 15 metres down and the first enormous section of hull from the 1942 Liberty battleship appeared with everything ahead being almost all other parts of the ship enabling us to explore, go agonisingly close to 30m, see the fish and coral growing on the metal and do some swim thru’s for about 45 minutes; was nice doing my 25th dive alongside two friends I could trust. At our safety stop thousands of sizeable fish took over the sea following one another quite spectacularly.

For lunch we detoured to the fishing villages of Amed for grilled tuna then rode home now quite tired and hot. Looking for a dinner joint we ended upstairs at popular Bendi’s wondering what the fuss was about- small portions, ok taste. Not wanting to miss dessert for second night in a row I had a cornetto as the girls bought pricey cake.

Prior to leaving cultural Ubud I took money and my SLR with me to visit the market and bartered by heart out for some stubby holders, place mats and a striking wooden mask, then had Weni’s son drive us sat in a luxury MPV (150k- cheaper than tour places) to Kuta (yes, again!). Being the last night of her trip me and Lolo had an aperitif, she treated us to a lovely seafood dinner and we met the Germans for a night out.

As Lolo departed to Europe and Amy to Yogyakarta I paid minimal amount for a taxi to Manu and Baschar's place to refresh in the pool, make homemade pasta dish and spend the rest of the afternoon and night watching Thor (brilliant), Cowboys and Aliens (bad), Hangover 2 (funny but a complete copy) and The Next Three Days (intense thriller); mixed Oreo's and ice cream along with a couple beers which turned out to be dinner. I slept soundly on the man sized futon.

The following day we lounged around the house (ate baked beans and put washing in) and visited resort driven Dreamland beach (no shade and no girls) then the more secluded, harder to get to Hidden Beach in Uluwatu, popular with surfers as a big reef break. I met a few of Manu’s friends, three frisbee, sat in the shallow water getting burnt and struggled to turn away persistent old women selling bracelets and offering massages. Encountering rush hour in the extreme and for once not in a car it was GAME ON! Doing as the locals do I weaved in and out of buses/trucks, used pavements, fought for position at every light, figured out which lane would move next and went wrong way on a highway.

We ate Fungyung Mai at Seminyak market, bought cheap spirits, drank at the house and had an average last night in Bali liking the clubs even less somehow, finishing in Piggy’s Bar with my friends at 3am.

Prior to being picked up in a luxury minibus at 5.30pm Java bound I repacked completely and watched yet another film. I enjoyed the complimentary dinner half way to the ferry and maybe got an hour sleep when, much earlier than expected, arrived into Probollingo at 2am. I negotiated a reasonable price for a Bromo excursion and got on a very old, broken van to Cemoro Lawang in the pitch black.

Only having my thin waterproof jacket I was cold when an Ojek (manual bike) went over rough ground to Penanjakan where I hiked fast alongside horses (tourist trap) to the top waiting for sunrise. With every passing minute more and more could be seen of the crater rim and volcanoes but unfortunately the huge Mt Semeru was shrouded in cloud.

We crossed the ‘sea of sand’ then I walked with Mt Batar to my right up a huge set of stairs to Mt Bromo crater to be right on the edge; lens protector rolled half way into the active hole but a local retrieved it. I stayed there half an hour admiring the lunar landscape and went back to town for nasi goreng and some supplies then in Probollingo, along with some Canadians, found wifi and very cheap shakes before the 11am bus.

I made friends with Mike and Danny (from Kelowna) for what turned into an epic journey beginning with total gridlock in Indonesia’s second city, Surabaya, unable to cope with the ensuing heat (all just in boardies) and ending with an electrical issue making our insane driver treat the bus like an f1 car to make up time actually arriving into Yogyakarta at a reasonable 10pm. Amy met us for dinner and I shared a room with her in one of the few available hotels.

The first thing I did in the ancient capital was book a train ticket to the new one, Jakarta, which involved taking ticket 136, having time to take photos of the river/houses/people and then asking a million and one questions about which train/class/time/price.

We ate a Bakso and met my pal Brooke at Bintang Cafe to catch up, gaze over his latest electronic purchase and go over his amazing stories. Later the three of us had a coffee in Exselsio to avoid the rain then I rented a scooter and followed him the 32km south to the seaside town of Parangritis ('Paris'); very good road able to go high speeds. In the seemingly dead centre Purnomo, owner of Budi Inn and quality English speaking guy, showed me my 50k a night room then I met Brooke’s 18 year old tiny bit of fun, Indra, at the warung she spends all day and night working in.

I rested till mid morning and went for a ride about town (literally only two white people...can see why it’s good to relax and write a book) getting shown all the ‘sights’ including jiggy jiggy road (red light area), moon beach road, the rough sea and brown, uninviting beach, a dirty fishing village, mosque, broken and unused wide promenade, quad bike shops, dozens of empty warung’s and cliffs. We had coffee mix with Indra’s brothel owning mum in her shack (she took photos and tried calling in her girls for us- $20) and that night ate two full plates of food, sipped water that smelt/tasted as if from sewage from his favourite eatery then drank warm beer at some local hangouts full of ugly hookers and drunks, feeling a tad uneasy. At the busy, live music club (terrible tunes) we enjoyed one rare cold beer as being the main attraction can get a bit much; strange day.

Being a hot, sunny day and a bit late to do a long ride we both spent much of the day on the internet at Budi and Widodo’s through Brooke’s Olive Pad. I used the big, greenish public pool for some laps (kid’s there stopped and stared whole time) then rode by beach for sunset and up into the hills being bitten numerous times before Purnomo fried up some potatoes on toast with butter and having an early night.

Eager to see what many believe is one of the ancient wonders of the world I was up before 5am for the long ride past reflecting rice fields and the epic ring road of Jogya but ended up going way too far as too impatient to stay put doing 60kmh with Brooke; tortoise and the hare! Now having avoided the sunrise tours we had Borobudur practically to ourselves (discount using expired youth card). Built in ad 824, the largest monument in the southern hemisphere was quite the sight to behold and in an amazing condition, being ‘lost’ for centuries. I made my way around the sculpted reliefs that adorn the lower galleries progressively making my way clockwise to the top of the square, black lava stoned pyramid where the giant, empty 10m stupa stood in the middle, surrounded by 72 smaller ones each containing a statue (number of them headless). Exposed to the sun constantly it was time to move on and see blocks that fell off from an earthquake (remarkably the entire structure’s pieces are not ‘glued’ into place). We got quite wet going to the city to meet Sarzy and her friend for lunch (two students whom conversed with about relationships and religion) then completely soaked the 40 minutes ‘home’. Once dry I put on the action packed Transformers 3 and slept by midnight.

Going solo I again did the trip to Yogyakarta very early on, this time to meet Mike and Surtardi (weird student he met in Kraton who had a bike) for a Merapi day. After nearly killing myself following them through an amber/red light on a main junction we hoped would be a straight forward day. At Kinahrejo we were disappointed to not only be unable to see the summit but due to a lack of information or flows/damage; considered climbing as was original aim but would take too long and both unprepared (Mike later did it when I was on train- damn!).

Getting different information we searched the western and southern slopes for what we were after, having no luck and on verge of forgetting it, until by chance stumbling across a vast wasteland of dried mud stemming from the volcano with numerous ruined buildings and objects so took time exploring; no tourists or shops or anything- very odd. We checked out the informative museum housed in a futuristic, modern building (expected a shack of some description), ate a few small dishes at an Indonesian only menu place (guessed), waited for Surtardi to have his third puncture of the day fixed (genius how the man does it) and left them for the coast; enjoy the drive. Having covered over 350km in two days on my scooter I was falling asleep watching football on the projector in the cafe once ate and wrote emails.

At 8.30am alongside Purnomo on his powerful touring bike we cruised through the green valleys and winding roads east to see Krakod (prettiest- rock platform, good sand, everyone in jeans/jumper), Sepanjang (peaceful), Drini (fishing orientated) and Kukup which was the most populous and had many interesting things for local tourists to buy such as rare tropical fish (puffer’s so funny when they expand out of water), painted hermit crabs, shell souvenirs and deep friend crab/shrimp which I bought a 250g bag of (couldn’t resist, like crisps).

One of his old friends owned one of the warung’s where they cooked us up an irresistible family sized plate of octopus in black bean sauce that I couldn’t finish. Closer to Paris was a cave with a view all the way to a now cloudless Merapi some 50km away (life sized wooden animal sculptures on road). I chilled with him and Brooke until was time for me to go and catch the 20.15 overnight train on platform 5 at Tuga Station (they drove my bags in the car ahead); thoroughly enjoyed my few days in obscurity out the backpacker path.

In the ice box that is Exekutiv class I sifted through photos and slept a few hours until pulling into Jakarta’s Gambir Station at 5.05am then directing a ‘first day’ taxi driver to Jalan Jaksa initially struggled to find an available room (not surprised at this hour) but lucking out at Hostel 35 with one that I could occupy right away and still get free bread and spread. I slept some more then knew it was time to hit the streets of one of Asia’s megacities, starting off by taking the busway at Sarinah (40 cents) to Kota; no pushing or shoving and was by far tallest person. I walked through Taman Fatahillah square and along Kali Besar canal to the Batavia area to see the beautiful wooden boats at the ancient Sunda Kelapa port that once had Captain Cook’s vessel Endeavour on its inventory.

I ignored my map and went out of the tourist trail, feeling safe and waving at all the smiling families, and then straddled an underpass full of house boats/people living in squalor to a recognisable landmark, drank a beer and gathered my thoughts at empty VOC Galangan then wondered aimlessly. On the bus south I spoke to a young insurance worker called Insan then admired the 20th century Indonesian version of Nelson’s column; Soekarno’s Independence monument. I read the political stories dating back centuries and right to the top had views over the city; 250,000 capacity Mesjid (mosque) most identifiable. I inadvertently got too close to the vice presidents home taking a short cut, used very cheap internet, wrote journal and later got some street food and had a quick beer at an expat bar.

Worried about traffic I got up super early at 4.35am, carried everything to Gambir and jogged to get on the moving bus to the well laid out airport with much time to spare. I had an emergency aisle seat on Garuda Airlines flight JT394 and two hours later landed in Sumatra where guide Doni was there to meet me and help get to Bukit Lawang easily through use of a Becak (bike with two seat carriage behind), Angkuta (minibus) and a hot, coach complete with Banjo playing, pierced weirdo seeing the acres of palm oil plantations that threaten the wildlife (London Sumatra Company); he was passionate about football so gave him my English flag I have had since 2008. The final 2km leg was on the back of Doni’s black motorbike and a narrow river crossing to Indah Guest House. After a cool down I looked around and met three Argentinean’s who would be doing trek with (1.1 million for everything) and relaxed until Canadian Mike and two Irish girls (Sinead and Deidre) arrived; chatted over a chicken and potato curry, beers and cigarettes then went to bed all excited.

When Doni and second guide Nurdin arrived we looked at some rubber trees and entered the Gunung Leuser National Park to each plant our mango trees in hope they would get chance to grow. Deeper into the forest (fairly humid) we came across some White Handed Gibbons making noises then as terrain became tougher a curious white and grey/black male Thomas Leaf Monkey followed us closely (female and 1 month old baby high up), jumping within inches of my face, letting me touch its foot, chasing us on the path and trying to put its hand in my backpack- so cool.

Pre packed fried rice and chicken was served as man of the jungle Doni interacted with a Hornbill doing a flawless reproduction of its noise. Coming close to see two Orangutans in a nest and reaching camp at only 2.45pm our spirits were dampened. Another walk was out the question when it rained hard after tea and biscuits but meant we could see card tricks, do logic tasks with matches and eat a mix of curry, chicken and tofu under the leak proof plastic cover of the main shelter. When sky did clear we sipped ginger tea, had nuts and did some group round the fire games then went out like a light on the hard floor.

For hours me and Mike were only ones up (given fried fish) then at 10am we all put on socks and headed upstream in the river itself seeing patterned spiders, a Monitor Lizard, random reptile and an odd white bug with anteater type nose that jumped.

Up a steep hill all of a sudden we found ourselves being watched by six Orangutans each on a perch in its own tree; so happy! We watched their behaviour in awe with the lazy, unpredictable male (forced to hurry away when he was in motion), a female that stared at us and placed her arms behind her head in a human like way and a mother and daughter darting through the canopy metres above us being my fondest memories of another memorable wildlife encounter.

Elated, we sat on leaves for food and progressed down to the main river very carefully trying not to slip and using branches for support. At our second camp we were mindful not to go more than a couple metres into the fast moving current as I got a free back massage from the water whilst washing sweat/dirt from my body in; forest towering above and many animal noises. We had grilled river fish and played an addictive card game (Juan’s idea) with each person being someone different attempting to figure out who was the thief each time; Deidre best liar.

We ate a plate of fresh fruit, did a difficult, fruitless hike and floated downstream in two sets of tubes for little more than an hour to Bukit Lawang splashing one another and seeing more development closer to town; thought were further away. In celebration of a successful trek we had a big dinner and a mixed fruit, gin punch that was hell strong especially the watermelon and sugarcane which soaked up most alcohol getting quite tipsy and falling asleep at the table.

In the Suzuki APV car the two of us claimed sovereignty over the prime middle row and used laptop till it died. Lake Toba came into view below at 5pm but when we asked to stop for a photo I witnessed something I hoped I would never see- a young dog meeting its end coming between two opposing vehicles (I couldn’t hold back the tears). In Parapat we made it to the final, 6pm, ferry to Tuk Tuk; friendly people on board (Friday). Now with a Spanish guy (Polo), American Mormon (Anthon) and German (Marlen) we all disembarked at Samosir Cottages and picked out rooms; ensuite with balcony for 30k each- winning! We listened to Batak music whilst having a deserved beer and a burger then played doubles on free pool table and partied at Brando’s Bar watching the majority male Sumatran’s flirt with the few women; we stood out like a sore thumb in there.

After a slow morning me, the Canadian and the German took our time going back and forth on the only road on the peninsula seeing the pointy, well crafted Batak houses, enquired about canoes (one in working order) and boats (extortionate), had beef and rice and at Carolina’s with birthday boy Anthon (employed by Rough Guides) dived into the warmish lake and paid a token amount for the hourly ferry to bring back us to our hotel; nice joint on roof. Grey cloud in distance turned into gale force winds and torrential rain lasting most of evening. Much to his surprise we gave the signal for the girls to bring out Anthon’s cake (arranged it earlier) then as they went to their rooms me and Marlen had a couple more drinks and watched the not very scary Paranormal Activity 2.

Come lunchtime the next day it was time to hire mountain bikes to Tomok and test out how unfit I was from a lack of cardio exercise. A hill stopped us going any further so had a Kopi at harbour then a big plate of food at a place the police chiefs go to (rice, fish head, noodles, veggies, spicy sauce, and egg).Having enough we swam, did diary, smoked remainder of our stuff and amidst another afternoon rain storm picked a popular, homely restaurant for taco’s and seafood rice then put on Harry Brown.

I packed, settled my portion of the bill and along with Marlen got cooked breakfast and paid for three scooters to go right around the entire island. At Panguran we avoided the hot springs (heard no water!) and cruised the west coast to Nainggolan where rested prior to the road deteriorating to what may as well of been a tractor track made up of rocks and holes. From one extreme to the other the next hour was quite possibly the most fun I have had on motorised transport EVER- no other vehicles, flowing curves hugging the landscape, crystal clear views for miles around and rarely holding back on the speed.

We parted ways as I stepped on to the final ferry to Parapat at 3.30pm; no rain! I gave Ricky my 65k and was sat in the back by luggage for the 4 hours to Medan. Not bothered about anything remotely luxurious I paid bottom dollar for a box room with no outside lock and just a mattress and fan but as didn’t leave the bed it wasn’t a problem; actually liked it!

Taking a fittingly local mode of transport, the Becak, to the Airport as waited at the only gate of the ‘International’ terminal I thought about the remarkable 8 weeks spent in a truly awesome country that I have barely scratched the surface of- I WILL BE BACK! At 11.35am on December 14th I was off to Kuala Lumpur for some modernity before copious drinking in Thailand...

Ant

Unlike Australia I have been constantly moving about on an almost daily basis and somehow not found the time to do my blogs in months but I told myself would never give up so am perservering, using my journal as a memory. This is part one of my favourite Asian country, Indonesia-

Having landed very tired and disorientated into Denpasar Bali I breezed through immigration, got ripped off 100k for a taxi and was dropped at the recommended Beneyasa II. I had a deserved rest on my comfy bed in the heat (power cut within an hour of arriving) then went for a wonder down the manic lanes repeatedly declining offers of ‘transporrrt’ to where the main clubs/pubs are already noticing just how many loud show off dickhead aussie were about. I ate, had a beer and kept going (so sweaty and a bit stressed) till found my hotel again for a refreshing swim. Later I had western food nearby and sat in busy Apache Bar for some Arak and lemonade but just as was going to leave decided to take a chance and asked two aussie blokes if could drink with them and they were more than happy to. Dave and Chris were sound, solid guys (unlike the majority) and we had one hell of a night on strong cocktails and Bintang at Bounty and Paddy’s Bar calling it a day about 3.30am.

I didn’t start moving till near lunchtime and spent the afternoon speaking to a Guernsey guy next door (what are the chances) and using wifi/eating at pricey Chaser’s; felt cheap compared to Oz but isn’t real local food and can get much cheaper (KFC burger at 60p maybe..) I met up with the guys again for a repeat of the night before although spending time in the Discotheque of Bounty is not a wise move and feels more like a gay club than anything and a crap girl:guy ratio to boot.

Thinking I made it to the airport well on time for my flight to Labuanbajo I got a shock when a Lion Air representative named Big K told me I had missed it due to rescheduling and as they didn’t have my brand new Indonesia SimPati number they couldn’t inform me. Not amused I signed the refund form and got a taxi back (Bluebird metered ones less than 30k...good to know), changed my plans and chilled the rest of the day and thought against going out.

At 6am I got picked up in a tiny van for the two hour journey to Padang Bai harbour way out East. Already regretting saving a measly $15 taking the slowest way possible we had to wait at an extortionate cafe and lug our stuff to the pier. I was very thankful the shit looking ferry had nice seats and air conditioning for the smooth three hour journey to Lembar. A crammed bus took us via a tourist office in Mataram then around the coast past Sengiggi to my most hated place in the whole country- Bangsal Harbour (horrible place). I met two French Canadian guys (Guillaeme and Joey) and two Finnish girls (Taio and Anna) at a cafe we were made to wait over an hour for no real reason so grouped together when encountered more stress and bullshit about which boat we were being forced onto and when finally on pristine Gili Trawangan, 12 hours after leaving the hotel, settled on the third place we looked at in the village called Twin Gardens for only 50k each (had mattress on floor...didn’t care). It was very warm but a shower, beer, sit down and then some rice wine (1.5 litres for 40k) with other guests made it all good. Minus an ill Joey we visited the bustling, small night market for some cheap Nasi Goreng then tried some fresh ‘shrooms (got good price), sat mesmerised on the sand and later had a smoke in Rudy’s Bar, losing a few hours until getting lost going home with Guillaeme.

Unable to rest past 10am due to the lack of fan power the old man that runs the place provided us with food and orange juice then we opted to do some snorkelling to wake ourselves up and also to see the turtles that roam around; perfect visibility but mostly dead coral and 50 metres offshore there was a big slope into the deep. We found a place with 25k meals (had two each- burgers and sandwiches with chip), rested and in the evening drank rice wine. More ‘fresh produce’ was eaten and beer drank culminating in a party at Blue Marlin Divers where the DJ was in his 60’s and Joey spent a fortune on imported shots (over a million-£80).

Being a clever group of guys we embarked on a round the island walk during the hottest part of the day with no vegetation (the staff were even telling us not to). On the empty west coast you could see the volcanoes of Bali but it was impossible to take a dip in the ocean as a coral platform extended out and never got deeper- tough on the feet I tell ya! Burnt and drained we swam in the busier, babe filled waters on the east and relaxed the rest of the afternoon once eaten at same place again. In the evening we played rummy 500 with Argentinean Sebastian, ate more market food and lasted only one rum and coke in one of the bars on the strip; the one main tourist street running length of east coast.

Well rested I dived Shark Point the following morning with Bali Diving Academy but was quite disappointed. Late afternoon myself and Guillaeme wondered through the extremities of the village seeing a football match, much rubbish and livestock to have a Bintang at Sunset Paradise Bar; clouds produced great colour. A whole bottle of rice wine, countless bags of crisps and many card games later and we were ready to partttyyyy at the Irish Bar having an awesome time speaking to many travellers including a Scottish girl called Lorne who did many shots till the early hours.

Joey helped take my things to the pier at 9am where got a public boat across to the dreaded harbour and into a waiting car that drove me into the hills to Senaru to be put in a very basic room. I slept, walked to a waterfall and ate with a local family using only my right hand (nice guide invited me and never asked for money) then in the evening after finding credit I met my mainly German group (9 of them and a suisse girl) and main guide Antonio, had dinner with them and got snacks/water/energy drinks before packing everything into my backpack and eventually going to bed.

Early in the morning I showered under the refreshing cold water and once had coffee and a banana pancake was squeezed into a jazzed up truck for the short distance to the start point of our Mt Rinjani hike! In my boardies, singlet and hiking boots I started walking alongside Baschar then Christina, Olga and Rafa as soon figured out was one of the quickest and behind other guide Sam most of the day. It was incredibly humid in the forests and by the time it came to lunch I felt like couldn’t of been wetter if jumped in a bloody pool...so disgusting! I got everyone to write their names in my book and chatted lots as we waited for our lunch to be cooked literally underneath us in an open hut; tasty and filling. As the day progressed the path became a bit harder but I didn’t mind as more exposed to a breeze and the sun was extinguished behind a wall of mist until seeing the rim for one spectacular view of the lake, new volcano and towering Mt Rinjani itself. When everyone made it and had caught their breath we had group photos then tea and biscuits as waited for sunset on a mound with views over to the Gilis. Our group of 7 porters set up our flashy, orange tents in meantime with mine being on its own and higher than the rest (only single traveller) so had space to change into warmer, drier gear for dinner (ate so many leftovers Christina called me ‘her little rubbish bin’). By 8pm I was the last person up so wrote in diary till too tired to do anymore.

Alongside the more enthusiastic members of our group I awoke for sunrise and even though not the best it was crystal clear about meaning some insane silhouettes of the mountain. There was minimal rush in camp from guests or guides so took time eating, watching the funny monkeys and getting changed before had the climb down the cliff to the base of the crater by the lake. Typically the sun was out when we were moving but not when we stopped to admire things except for a random dog that somehow had followed us all the way from Senaru!! We visited some semi natural hot springs to relax the muscles (one hot pool us guys did the macho thing in seeing how long could stay in) then actually used shampoo to wash. Realising the water wasn’t overly clean we also went in the cold volcanic lake to do the same then lunched and had a tough old two hours clambering up and zig zagging to summit base camp; foggy so cool making it vastly easier. Even though had been warned about the rubbish situation here I was genuinely shocked at the state of the place (it’s a National Park for god sake!) so tried ignoring the issue as we sat on the ground discussing many a thing for hours. I ventured away to find a number 2 spot then after shooting the night sky went to my tent as need as much sleep as possible.

At 2am in the cold and pitch black we begun our ascent up a narrow gravel slope giving the legs a good work out and keeping us warm then onto a flattish ridge getting us ready for the constant uphill that followed with mental toughness coming into play as well as being reasonably fit. Waiting a ridiculously long time for the rest to follow I huddled inside a lava hole to keep out the wind with Spanish Marta and Sam other side. At last he said we could go up at our own pace so without hesitation scrambled up the 2 step forward 1 step back final leg that went on for a good half an hour taking numerous five second breaks and enjoying the first rays of colour on the horizon making the summit visible but also the vertical drops only feet away to my left and right. At 5.28am I had made it to the top of the 3726m Mt Rinjani (Mt Kenya harder), watched the sunrise over Sumbawa and waited to greet my friends one by one taking many photos amongst ourselves and with various local/army groups. The crater and whole of west Lombok was a spectacular sight below me as my man Faisal was the last remaining member (Lolo stopped half way) to make it; never had any doubt he would make it due to sheer inner belief so a congratulatory cigarette was in order. An impatient Sam simply left some of us up there but this meant we could hang around, run down recklessly and take in every view and angle and constantly changing clouds especially over the active cone. Breakfast was met with much enthusiasm but not so knowing we had an epic day of downhill walking which was never ending and killed my knees and feet no end. No longer pushed to be at the head of the field I fell back, thought about what I had achieved today and on my trip in general and when on the green cattle filled pastures got speaking to Lolo as approached the waiting bus about 2pm for the 50 minute journey to the hotel. It was here that I confirmed my growing desire to join them to the Gili islands instead of going solo through barren lands and harsh seas to Flores knowing I would not regret it.

Once semi clean and repacked we travelled to Gili T but there was an unusually big swell that afternoon making me the most scared every been on a boat which wasn’t helped by being seated out on the front getting soaked; was convinced we were going to tip we moved that violently. On dry land we persisted to find a place for all 11 of us with Turtle Bungalows being it (run by funny guy Jo). We refreshed in the sea and had a lovely meal at Egoiste before a well needed early night.

On Halloween we chilled most of the morning, did some snorkelling and I spent the afternoon on wifi before having to borrow Amir’s shorts to go out as my washing not ready and sweating like a pig. We ate market food, drank rice wine and partied at Blue Marlin. The following day I did even less, spending most of it by the beach with the girls and having a big lunch then watching the not so sunset at Paradise bar having a nice time with Lolo and chilling with her on the beach later along with many mosquitoes.

On my last full day with ze Germans we did a day snorkelling trip around Gili Meno and Air on our own chartered glass bottom boat. The first stop covered a big area where turtles lived and the second one had a north-south current drifting us passed coral in warm/hot deep water. We stopped for lunch at Chill Out Bar on Gili Air eating good food and accidentally getting some items for free due to the size of the group; flies atttacking my cut up little toes from the climb though. In rougher water on the west we were 7 metres above a random wreck complete with scuba divers so myself and some of the guys dived down with one deep breath to touch it (did it 3 times due to camera issues). That evening we had standard Mie Goreng and drank rice wine with a load of German girls off the guys course in Bali then rocked out at the Irish Bar till 4am, later finding out Manu disappeared, took mushroom shakes and got robbed and left naked in street!

I had decided to join Lolo to Kuta Lombok so early in the morning said goodbye to those that were up and only had to wait a few minutes for a public boat to fill up. I sat next to an Italian called Raffaele who unsurprisingly talked and talked the whole way but was a really nice guy who we shared a car with to Sengiggi where met his two friends who just finished climbing Rinjani; Giancarlo and Renato (all baggage handlers at Milan Airport). As a group of 5 we took a bemo with a British flag on the front to Kuta in the far south, passing the sparkling new airport that will bring in the huge increase in tourists expected over next few years; good to visit now before it turns into Bali! In the laid back town we sat in a bar with a beer, found a good place to stay (Amla Bungalows) and in the evening, after an unexpected sleep, the guys used the kitchen to make a lovely Pasta Pomodoro using ingredients from the only supermarket in town. The restaurant area was about five degrees warmer than the outside making us all so hot and needing water and beer to keep cool. We sat on the ok beach under the moon and had an early night.

With virtually zero scooter experience I was a little nervous about hiring one in Asia but I needn’t have worried as once paid the 50k and signed absolutely nothing I was given the keys to my pink Honda and got to grips with the balance and brakes right away for the short trip to one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen- Tanjung Aan. A sheltered bay of shallow, serene turquoise water backed by an empty white beach with the only development being a bamboo beach bar and some local huts meant we were going to stay a while. After an epic Frisbee session, lunch, sand castle building (Lolo’s creation) and having a beer with Rafa and Aranka we all left for Pawan beach the other side of town on some horrific pot holes roads. It may not have been as pretty but it felt as remote and had a certain uniqueness of its own with a steep horseshoe bay and deep water only metres out and one huge tree being only thing above a few feet high. By the end of the day I was leading the pack and manoeuvring around things effortlessly trying not to be too cocky. The Spaghetti guys made a second dish for us (pasta Aglio) and just prior to going out for a few beers at a live music joint I felt a rumble underneath me finding out later that it was a tremor (my first earthquake experience!).

Opting to have the scooters a second day me and Lolo had the sole intention of going to places no tourists were. Managing to go 80kmh+ and having locals point us in the right direction we progressed east and then south around the edge of Awang Bay; swerved to hit a dog and was inches away from entering a metre wide hole when overtaking a truck. As expected we got lost a couple of times down dead ends and very disorientated on way to Eske but once filled up out of 1 litre Absolut Vodka bottles (5k each) we were at the small fishing village consisting of only simple folk who knew next to no English; perfect. At the pristine untouched beach there was an abandoned house at end of a pier jotting out to sea and several fishing boats/floating houses so explored in our own time. On the way to Awang Lolo had a minor accident but it still prompted an entire village to surround her shaken self (one asked for money!). Over one hell of a dodgy wooden bridge we reached the not so happening town and didn’t even stop. Unfortunately they were in process of building a new road so were forced to go up a 30 degree slope of loose soil and sand inevitably causing all manner of problems- had to push bike manually myself to the side and as her chain had come off a football team helped Lolo out and fixed it with tools from home at the top; rode slowly after. At our room we had ‘aperitif’ on porch, ate at a cheap place and relaxed before sleep; one great day and really enjoy having her as a travel partner.

In typical Indonesian fashion what should of been quite a straightforward day back to Bali gradually disintegrated into a farce that usually I would of accepted but with Ari and Nicky landing into Denpasar that evening and knowing I had made a promise to be there I was stressed throughout. Despite getting stuck in Mataram, taking the slowest boat to Padang Bai, being halted by rush hour traffic and unable to move in a taxi in central Kuta i still managed to make it to the airport 45 minutes prior to their drained Jersey selves walking through the sliding doors. Setting them up in Beneyasa in the room next door the four of us went to the Brasil Warung and drank next door catching up.

After an average hot day on Poppies lanes using wifi, booking a flight, saying goodbye to Lolo and staying out the rain I picked up a worried Amy from the airport and spent the early part of the night trying to get her to chill out and not be too homesick; a hard job especially when so happy to see her. After a delicious meal at Tatamo’s myself and Ari braved the wet conditions and drank at busy busy Alleycats (15k quadruple vodka redbull’s) then Jl Legian till all our money was out using our last Rupiah for a Hurricane fishbowl.

The weather had improved so spent much of the day showing Amy around. In the afternoon I chilled on my balcony watching a huge thunderstorm roll in and dump a monsoonal amount of rain on meaning a run for dinner, feasting on a tomato salad, burger and banana split; quite full. A large, deep, dirty puddle had developed blocking our path home so as a true gentleman gave Ari a piggy back through it then did some organising.

Needing to get out of Kuta we took a metered Blue Bird to Seminyak and after some stress looking for rooms me and Amy had a cheap double and the girls stayed at a brand new hotel near the beach. I wondered down to see the quite unpleasant looking stretch of brown sand and later tried finding my way to Rafa's house on Sunset Road using a driver initially before running across and up a highway. I cooled down at their plush pad and awaiting Lolo to arrive from Ubud (one night only- sweet). I followed them on a spare scooter to the German Warung for Chicken Schnitzel then once spirits bought at Bintang supermarket amazingly found out the house party was a mere 100m from my hotel. I got talking to a number of germans, played drinking games, drank lots of Iceland Vodka and snacked on crisps then late on walked most of the way to the clubs to party the night away. Going to Bounty was not cool so me and Lolo sat in 24hr Piggy Bar and taxied to the house for the scooter to Rafa's then I returned it still drunk about 5am just in time to get my bag, eat a pot noodle and catch the ride to the airport with Amy , Ari and Nicky (zero sleep!).

Second time lucky everything went as smooth as it could be to Labuanbajo except for the fact I literally stank- no queue, boarding on time, smooth flight. Down the hill at the picturesque Flores town in perfect sunshine with dozens of islands nearby we checked into Hotel Gardena, watched a big ferry come in laden with passengers and handed washing in. In the friendly one street town we booked diving/snorkelling with Reefseekers (best of bunch as all same price), island stays and a way back to Lombok as well as taking photos and finding the only ATM- BUSY AS!!! We rewarded ourselves by eating at the new, upmarket Meditteraneo restaurant enjoying delicious pasta/fish dishes. It was here when waiting for the bill that being awake 40 hours finally hit me and so slept like a baby.

On the boat by oursleves at 9am we picked up supplies and our dive instructor/company owner Kat from Angel Island and went due west into the Komodo NP to Tatawa Basar. I expected life under the water to be good but little did I realise quite how unbelievably amazing it would be!! Our entire 50 minute dive we were over extensive live, extremely colourful coral complete with hundreds of species of fish all the way down to 20+ metres; seeing an eagle ray glide past enhanced the atmosphere. In complete awe feeling like in an aquarium I didn't want to leave especially when saw five turtles in quick succession towards the end- WOW! We lunched on the top (constant supply of fruit and hot tea as well) and prepared for something completely different but equally as spectacular- Manta Rays! As a dive site there literally is nothing there except a rocky 'airstrip' but within five minutes we were witnessing two 3 metre wide specimens doing a beautiful courtship dance right in front of our eyes. As if staged a few more appeared and then it was time for my most memorable experience in the ocean to date- a 2 metre manta ray passed by, turned and ever so gracefully headed directly for me, lifting its giant wing over my head and staring right through me with its big, black eye (as if peering into the soul...truly magical); the girls snorkelling above saw it all!

You seriously could not take the smile off our faces the rest of the day and on the way back nature gave us some huge sail fish leaping out of the water in the distance- felt overwhelmed. I got drenched off the boat by a rain cloud as forgot goggles and in the evening we used wifi, ate at a warung and met up with Manu and Baschar for a beer.

At 11am the next day we made our way to Seraya Island by walking across to the pier and boarding a tiny, noisy boat that really gave me a headache. Less than an hour later we arrived at the isolated beach with some bungalows and a restaurant area- at long last I had a bungalow directly onto the sand! I rested, enjoyed the peace and quiet and when electricity on at 6pm put in our dinner order and later, along with the 20 other people here, ate and played some cards till lights out at 11pm. The whole of the next day I relaxed organised photos and went into the water inbetween meals- perfect couple days in my view.

It took a few hours of boats and waiting to get from Seraya to Kanawa but nothing too strenuous or stressful and the beauty of the water/island made it all worth it; Amy opted not to come. I munched on sugar crackers (addictive) then went snorkelling, first at a very wrong spot, then at the correct one all by myself. After sunset I met divemaster Marie for a night dive off the end of the wooden jetty where I felt very comfortable moving about away from the group and saw a sleeping turtle, squid, sea worms and other things although my weights were wrong so used up air trying to stay deep. Once logged I ate fried rice and a portion of chips, beat the girls at rummy and slept at 11pm.

To get onto the Reefseekers boat in the morning we had to instruct our driver to dock alongside them in the middle of the ocean so we could changeover safely- cool. In North Komodo NP we dived the difficult Full Moon which was the most insane and intense dive ever beginning with a zero buoyancy descent to 20 metres then trying to hold onto dead coral while watching numerous White Tip Reef Sharks, Grey Sharks and Giant Trevelly hunt in one feeding frenzy. I was shocked to find my air below 70 baht much quicker than normal forcing a drift dive to the more sheltered side but once at the safety stop I was literally on ZERO so had to use Kat's octopus the remaining couple minutes. The second dive was much more sedate seeing a spotted ray and getting incredibly close for a duration of time with a Hawksbill turtle.

Back on dry land we thanked Kat for the two amazing dive days and proceeded to board the 2 day Perama Boat tour which is where part 2 will begin...

Ant

Salamat siang from Indonesia! Due to having such a good month here on various islands I have had no opportunity to fill you in on my last few weeks in Australia but here on the Gili islands I have some time so here goes...

After flying into humid Darwin in September and having a very drunken night with Team Awesome (Bubbles, Randy, J-Roc, Julian and Rickie) we cleared away and began the roadtrip.

With me driving I hurried along at 105kmh to make the 11am Spectacular Jumping Crocodile’s Tour on Katherine river for a one hour cruise on a boat where they made Eusterine croc’s jump out the water for a chunk of meat (done same tour in ’07); amazing to watch and perfect start.

On dry land we threw a ball constantly to an energetic dog called Casper, spoke to the staff on the area and continued east into Kakadu National Park. I filled up with expensive fuel in Jabiru, avoided paying entrance fees at the visitor centre and stopped at Nourlangie to see the ancient aboriginal cave paintings and the ‘feather’ rock perched on a cliff alongside a bubbly ranger.

With it being late afternoon we made the wise decision to take the 50km track to Ganamarr (couldn’t ask for a better unsealed road, barely went below 80kmh) to spend the night by clean facilities. Having made John spend a little more money on food than he’s apparently been used to we added processed meat to the pasta for some more substance (lunch was a quarter can of beans on a piece of bread ) then a cooling breeze came about at 9pm with bed not long after.

After oats and a short but real 4x4 road for 10km we went the not so straightforward route towards Jim Jim Falls over many boulders to a quite spectacular scene of an epic gorge hundreds of metres high with a huge freshwater pool at the end where the waterfall would usually drop into; end of dry season right now. I took little persuading in swimming its length and upon seeing the view I bravely decided to go back and get my SLR. The guys joined me as we jumped off a rock then visited the beach pool close by (what a place).

Pushing our fuel to the limit we made it to Pine Creek and onto Katherine for supplies, cold drinks/ice cream and a phone call to Machelle (began a trend of speaking to her in the supermarket). A mere 29km was Nitmiluk NP where we parked up, used the pool and put on a BBQ (Billie’s treat) with Wallabies roaming by close enough to almost touch. Reminiscent of the last time I was here it was too damn muggy to sleep until a mini storm came over and made it ok to venture into the tent.

We moved at the crack of dawn to hike into Katherine Gorge on what was already a scorcher of a day, making it to Butterfly Gorge 4.5km away in no time at all down a cool forested section then did the extra bit to the lookout and Southern Rockhole. The pool was dry and with no water between us powered it to one of the water tanks to quench our thirst. Glad to be finished we took boots off, ate whatever was going and dirtied the bathrooms before stocking up in Katherine and going into completely unknown territory west on the Victoria Highway.

The landscape changed quite dramatically with more grasses, trees and hills (got some shut eye) as we entered Gregory NP and completed a short hike in thongs to see an escarpment, unique palm trees and painting’s of Emu’s. 12km from Timber Creek we took a long, reasonable track deep into the NP to Bonnita homestay and a deserted campground (bit odd) to unload, grill burgers and watch JB stupidly attempt the gallon in an hour milk challenge- he barely passed half way before going to bed! Being noticeably fresher we slept easily and not in a puddle of sweat for once.

Any hopes of an easy day were dashed when heard Billie say ‘John we have a problem...the driver’s rear is flat’. Things quickly turned ten times worse when the wheel nut tool snapped off (uh oh) so the kid’s (Kitty and Kev) went in search of people as we cleaned Hos, bringing back a proper bush women who really did know her stuff (bush survival techniques), helped, and pointed out that if she wasn’t around it was three days till the rangers next came by!

Driving cautiously and in no hurry at all we made it to the WA border and Kununurra, booked the truck in for the next day to fix the leaky rear diffuser (other mechanics gave a wait time of 8-10 days) and scoured town for a new wheel. At a lovely park (Kimberleyland) by a lake we picked a spot, had first shower in 4 days and sat waiting for the liquor stores to begin selling full strength beer from 5pm. Knowing the beers would warm fast we drank to match this fact and coupled with a lack of water consumption meant I was literally off my chair onto the tent at a disgraceful 9pm!

With Hos in the garage for the day we could do nothing, use the pool, make random corn pancakes, play Frisbee, do diary and take a look around the centre only to find out he had been ready for probably hours in the meantime. We drove out of town at 5.15pm into the setting sun and towards Hall’s Creek in the dark (would never have done it in van) seeing road trains and hills alight with controlled burns for the mines (my job to keep JB awake with cigarettes and music) before pulling up at a convenient rest area.

A 50km hardcore bumpy, dusty, windy, rocky track lay between us and Purnululu NP which we negotiated well then drove to Mini Palms for a short hike then the ultra narrow and deep Echidna Chasm which cut right into the rock making for some interesting beams of light and formations. We were presented with another flat tyre upon returning so changed it, ate and despite not now having a spare went to the Bungle Bungle’s themselves to see these very famous rounded landforms with their distinct light and dark bands from weathering and uplift. They were what I expected but was surprised how many and how big some were especially at the imposing Cathedral Gorge. After the disappointing Piccaninny Creek lookout we made it in one piece to camp and had a guy we met patch up/fill our tyre as I prepared food.

I moved to the back to be cooler then at Warnum-Turkey Creek roadhouse found the right tyre on a Sunday! We all showered, fitted second spare to roof, journeyed to Kununurra again for food/drinks/essentials and found an area just off the highway to stay 40km from Wyndham; watched Happy Gilmore for entertainment.

All up at 6am we were soon on the Gibb’s River Road. We turned off to the privately owned El Questro Station, got $1.97 fuel and didn’t pay the permits as we got to the start of the gorgeous gorge having gone through a wide section of water up to the top of the arches. Impossibly cool and shaded rainforest lined the entire length with many swimming holes dotted along which we made most of as crystal clear freshwater; boulders to clamber over, orb spiders making their home in hidden places and mini waterfalls to sit under. Past the apparently croc infested Pentecost River and Home Valley Staion we stayed by Russ Creek; dusty but quiet and bush like.

We woke up to a flat tyre so JB and Billie did their thing as I made brekkie and organised the back of the truck. At Barnett Roadhouse we paid the $8pp permit to see Manning Gorge which involved a rowing boat and a quite boring, mind numbing 40 minute hike. We spent hours by the end waterfall/pool chilling, doing 30ft cliff jumps (re-enacted scene from The Other Guys), eating by now standard meat and mayo sarnies, and did a spot of fishing. Again all out of water we hurried back and later, in the fading light, parked at a rest stop with a view by a tour group; no insects, good temperature and many many stars (winning).

In the middle of munching on a jam sandwich I saw that Hos had developed its 4th flat tyre in only 5 fucking days (has to be something to do with the shocks and bad weight distribution as always the rear). A 20km backtrack was Imintji Store and Neville the mechanic who repaired two of ours for good measure as we patiently waited watching the world go by- travellers and locals alike staying for a few seconds or many minutes. As we were ready to go a road train laden with supplies came by so we stayed to help the nice owners unload and place things in their fridges/store rooms and as we saved them potentially hours of work we were given cold lemon squash, crisps and bread as a thank you (told us they had killed two king brown snakes in previous week- so far from anything that if bitten they are done for but seem so relaxed about that fact- oh Australian’s).

Having been told to go faster and given different tyre pressures (everyone says something different it’s very confusing) we left to the not so amazing Gibb’s Road (not quire one of the final outback escapes and not exactly tough) and zoomed to the Devonian era Windjana Gorge to get bitten by sand flies. Kev was nigh on concussed from hitting his head on the dash so gave us good excuse to almost bypass Tunnel Creek and get fuel from Fitzroy Crossing (aboriginal’s asked if we wanted to go to a festival...no thankyou). From here Billie took us to within an hour of Broome at a place with picnic tables making life easier.

We were in the pleasant tourist town early on at 9.30am going to Cable Beach first to use the phone and take a plunge into the turquoise tropical Indian Ocean (felt cleaner) as the perfect introduction to the place. We found Roebuck Caravan Park, being put on a huge powered site so all charged electronics. We visited the lighthouse and saw the hard to spot dinosaur footprints, bought two crates of TED’s ($72) and began drinking momentarily knocking three back in minutes. Me, Billy and JB strolled the twenty minutes on quiet streets to the great, busy Roey Bar to see legendary kiwi Dave, Tina and her friend Signe for Bundy’s and beer with my mind going hazy when moved to Bungalow next door till the very early hours.

Hungover and not in the mood to rush anywhere the crew chose to stay another day (at first was against it but made perfect sense) and continue drinking right from the get go but I just was not feeling it so took a step back and watched; made place a tip so had to control myself and not get wound up. I spoke to Kiwi Dave (came over on his bike) about Asia and as JB pushed himself to the limit and passed out on the floor we had a drink at the Satay Bar and chilled.

We cleaned up, visited the weekly market and bought food so we could begin the second leg of the trip towards Port Hedland some 600km away; very boring stretch of road. Past Sandfire Roadhouse the front left tyre suffered a blowout which John handled well, pulling up on the side of the highway; entire sidewall separated. The closest campground was a good hour from town but it was very pleasant with lots of trees and a river plus found a seasoned Aussie traveller who used his puncture repair kit and air compressor on one of the flats so that we actually had some sort of spare now.

For the second week in a row we had to try and find somewhere open on a Sunday and not having much luck made a group decision to risk going south. This proved to be a great move as the only roadhouse we stopped at happened to have our size tyre, albeit well worn, but meaning we could continue onto nearby Karijini NP. There were still a couple of hours before sunset so managed to see Circular Pool and walk through to Fortescue Falls past vertical sides of compressed sandstone cut out in straight lines/blocks as if man made. At the ‘free’ campground we grilled cheap meat to put in the pasta, watched The Expendables and later went to the tents in the wind.

We had one day to blitz the vast park so left at 7am for the four gorges lookout (Weano, Red, Hancock and Joffre) then had a wonder through the dramatic and beautiful Knox Gorge (few people around) right to the end where if you wanted to go further you would need ropes, helmet and a guide; you could still see the green pool after crossing a huge log that required some balance. At Joffre Falls me, John and Billie chose the harder more fun route down the terraced rocks alongside the waterfall itself to the amphitheatre and carried on to where you could swim in the chilly water; such impressive scenery.

28km away was the 1235m Mt Bruce which we just had to climb (it’s there.haha) and did so in a mere 78 minutes over varying terrain and getting views of a mine site/mile long train, the southern end of Karijini and 10’s of kilometres of outback Australia in all directions. Practically jogging most of the way down one of my walking sandals broke metres from the car park putting a slight dampener on the hike as been so useful to me; shit happens.

Our final tyre incident of the roadtrip occurred going towards Tom Price with the right side rear shredding, exposing the wire beneath the first layer (still full of air but had to change it). Hoping for all sealed roads from now on due to the need for tyre preservation we were greeted with 70km of unsealed past mine sites/vehicles with the light fading which kept us all on our toes. A tired JB wanted to get as far as he could so didn’t stop till 8pm and me being in the mood to do things spent hours organising photos from the trip when the rest in their tents.

The previous day myself and Kitty had gone through the expenditure so far and found it to be significantly higher than expected so had a group chat in the morning and in an effort to keep everyone together opted to get to Perth a few days quicker than originally planned. 250km away was the tropical blue waters and white sandy beach of Coral Bay where we stayed for relaxing, fishing, snorkelling, using internet and also showering; lovely place and caravan parks all booked up for two weeks.

The busy rest area half an hour away was breezy and unsheltered so had to huddle round the grill, but we ended having a great night with two young guys from Perth (Simon and Chris) who invited us to their ute bar where we drank Tequila, beer and whiskey by a fire; I slept in Hos, JB and Billie in ‘the sandwich’ and the kids in their tent.

We had a long drive to Carnarvon then Shark Bay World Heritage Area where saw the ancient Stromatolites (first organism’s to produce oxygen), a beach made up entirely of shell’s and at Eagle’s Bluff saw thousands of seabirds, the sheer scale of the bay and loads of seagrass lining the bottom of the cliffs. It was here that we followed a track to our overnight stop amongst vegetation like that on the sanddunes back home. Now being able to purchase goon for a reasonable price we sat having a few cups and playing cards then embarked on a version of centurion (sip a minute for 100 minutes) that we lost count on easily.

During the night the strong wind had collapsed one corner of our tent so awoke to quite the small space and it resting on my head (pole hadn’t snapped though). Getting everyone up early was a mission but we made it to tiny Monkey Mia just in time for the dolphin’s at 7.30am. Once an introduction was given (good 80+ people) we stood on the shore as the wild dolphins came in one by one with Kia being the most inquisitive getting to within feet of us; had prime spot. She kept showing her belly (could be pregnant) and swimming round the guide then when buckets of fish bought out some goofy volunteers picked people to feed each of the amazing, friendly creatures (been coming to this area since the 1960’s).

In the quaint seaside town of Denham the guys did some fishing as I relaxed and took photos of the pier/boats and Kev was forced to spend literally hours on the toilet as had stomach issues (poor guy). At 2pm we moved on out of Shark Bay to an area just 15km from the turnoff to Kalbarri NP; biggest free rest place yet and by a big river and bridge. I made dinner (stupidly forgot to drain one of the pastas before adding sauce to it- soggy!), put on some South Park and was asleep before 11pm.

The flies were out in force (counted 20 on John’s back) making packing away even more fun than usual but at least it meant a quick exit to see a couple of gorges in the park and drive through to the pretty coast and the town of Kalbarri. We saw surfers and did some short walks to see some coastal landforms (Nature’s Arch and Castle Cliff’s), filled up in Geraldton and stopped in Julien Bay as had some hours to kill. Getting impatient we went to the Pinnacles early and cooked on the tailgate (few weird looks), saw sunset (cloudy) and headed to Lancelin in the dark. Unfortunately the only servo in town had just shut and we didn’t have enough fuel to go anywhere else so was stuck. At a park we sat on a table a while then I set up the big tent behind a shelter trying to be as discreet as possible (John took sleeping bag to the beach alone) and actually getting a few hours sleep with the only distraction being a drunk Billie coming in at 3am from a pub/house party he found. Prior to locals waking up I disassembled my home for the last time and before 8am were under way for the 120km home stretch to Perth. Following Machelle’s instructions we located The Mansion in Dianella suburb easily thus marking the END OF THE ROATRIP and 6800km of Team Awesome fun from Darwin over a period of 20 days!!

I caught up with Tina, Jordan and their housemates on the couches by the pool area (party house for sure) nervously awaiting the arrival of the kiwi who I had spent months speaking to but till now never met; her and Kim happened to pull up as we were under the hood of Hos. I made the healthiest food in weeks and joined in drinking alongside the dozen or so others, still taking it all in but having a great time joking around and talking about where I had been and what my plans were. Not drunk at all I had to break up a fight between wasted Billie and the guys who had the lease for the house then made myself BBQ man- cooking burgers with spice and sausages as the girls prepared a monster salad. Things died down between 9 and 10 when people hit their respective ‘walls’ (John passed out by now on chair) giving me a chance to hang with Shelle and then go to bed quite happy.

In the morning I saw the now sober crew and took all my things out of the truck as they were going to the Billabong and Global hostels in the city. Myself, Machelle, Kim, Tina, Signe, Naomi and Jordan all went to the packed Leederville Hotel for the All Blacks vs Argentina RWC quarter final ($5 cover?!), got very lost going home (she doesn’t know right or left so has to be ‘my way’ or ‘her way’.lol) and made Burritos. As most had work the next day not much was going on so just went to her room to chill and put on some music.

In her red Chrysler Neon we picked Chris G and Gemma up from the airport first thing and chatted back at the mansion for hours; first friend’s met since leaving Jersey. Later we parked in Northbridge to go to Murray Street Mall and sort them out bank accounts/sim cards etc as me and Shelle people watched. We took in the view from King’s Park, bought alcohol at Dan Murphy’s and food from the Mirrabooka Woolworths then sat on the couches with my friends making us garlic bread and a curry while getting through the beer very easily.

After doing very little in the morning we decided to go all the way to Fremantle for a drink at Little Creature’s forgetting quite how far it is; Maiju was back so she came. Needing to take my friends to their hostel we found Hay Street easily but the one way systems really mucked us around causing quite a bit of stress. Hungry, I ordered a Domino’s from the net on my phone then Tina’s friend Stuart rocked up with some coronas that we gratefully consumed using lemons from the tree in the garden before a fairly early night.

On Wednesday it was Machelle’s 24th birthday and her friends gave her a shock by hiding in one of the rooms and surprising her with balloons and presents (lots of pink); quality. The girls watched some films then I went to the supermarket with Naomi and Tina to buy nachos ingredients (paid for it all as my treat); two full trays were made out of it! I phoned my brother and then started some goon (some shots as well) as everyone dressed up. The queue for the Leederville was ridiculous so went to nearby Hippy Club early and stayed there not really being able to afford the non backpacker night prices but had a dance feeling like a pimp as only guy out; took cab back by 2am as Shelle quite tipsy.

The next day I gave her a break and saw Daria near Freo then for some reason sat watching Grey’s Anatomy for the first time (bad but not as bad as feared) in the afternoon before having a long, deep conversation with Shelle for hours. On Friday night we met up with John, Chris and the others at Billabong hostel (good to be back there) for drinks. Like old times things got rowdy and noisy before the new night manager moved us indoors and instead of going out got pies from the Caltex and jumped in a taxi.

Me and Shelle went to Cottesloe at lunch to meet Tom Letherbarrow at the OBH (been a while) then sat on the beach not really wanting to go in the water as a shark attack happened a few days before. The girl’s were a bit pissed off at me for bringing her back late as it was time to prepare for the boat party that had been in the works for weeks so kept out the way as best I could. I got a good group photo by the pool then we made our way to Barrack Street Pier to wait for all 40 or so guests to arrive could get on the boat for 6.30pm.

The sky at dusk over the river and skyscrapers was a perfect start as all mingled in groups, drank and had a good time; pumping tunes, pole dancing, Shelle driving the boat briefly and being the sole provider of Man Utd vs Liverpool updates were a highlight (loved it when went ahead). The boat docked suddenly and it was over (not the best) so a few of us returned to party at The Mansion in the pool and around to the early hours; got in the middle of Chris and Gemma having a huge fight which put a dampener on things.

Tina was forced to fly home for family reasons and so Shelle offered to do a week farm work while she was gone thus meaning less time together and so on her last day before Margaret River we went to busy Scarborough on a 35c day (no a/c). By chance we got in a space by the beach, had an ice cream and sat by the big waves and strong currents (small lifeboat got flipped over) till having to go to watch the NZ vs Oz semi final but traffic meant missed the first few minutes; not the most straightforward, relaxed day! At half time we live paused it for a big ‘family’ barbeque then saw the kiwi’s finish off their inevitable victory. I at last got round to showing Machelle photos of my time in Australia and late on with people in bed cheekily snuck to the pool for some skinny dipping, forgetting how cold it would be.

I said goodbye to her, packed and sorted a few things out then the following afternoon moved to the Billabong to stay with John and Chris. On my final day I did last minute bits, had a farewell drink and hung out on the balcony till my taxi came at 12.30am to take me to the airport where I had four hours to wait when at 5am took off for Bali.

And so you have it...farewell Australia! If it wasn’t for the insanely amazing time I’ve had in Indonesia so far I would have written this week’s ago but hey, it’s done now!

Still looking and being awesome....Ant ;-)